--- title: Good Anxiety: How to Make it Work in Our Favor description: Breaking news and analysis from time.com. Politics, world news, photos, video, tech reviews, health, science, and entertainment news. canonical: https://time.com/6111258/good-anxiety-therapists/ author: Hilary Jacobs Hendel article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2021-10-28T18:57:58.000Z article:modified_time: 2023-12-12T00:26:16.000Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Anxiety Feels Terrible, But it Has an Upside og:description: 'Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being human' og:url: https://time.com/6111258/good-anxiety-therapists/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt30470bd9009ba27f/698a1b10656a3f97febdb6ff/post-covid-anxiety.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2400 og:image:height: 1350 og:image:alt: post-covid-anxiety og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Anxiety Feels Terrible, But it Has an Upside twitter:description: 'Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being human' twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt30470bd9009ba27f/698a1b10656a3f97febdb6ff/post-covid-anxiety.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 video:duration: 03:05 video:published: 2021-11-04 section: health topics: anxiety, depression, COVID-19 pandemic, emotional awareness, core emotions, physical symptoms of anxiety, deep belly breathing, body scanning, emotional regulation genre: explainer, how-to tones: calm, instructive, supportive emotions: anxiety (high), sadness (low), hope (low) sentiment: neutral audience: people experiencing anxiety, people struggling with mental health, general wellness readers content_suitability: health controversy [00:01-00:21] transcript_source: publisher captions transcript_reviewed: not applicable ---  # Anxiety Feels Terrible, But It Has an Upside. Here's How to Make It Work in Your Favor > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-inside-2026q3/newsletters?i=dc561094-536c-47c6-80e7-f60a6fbae155&cr=time-nl-inside-2026q3-v1) ## Video: Anxiety Feels Terrible, But It Has an Upside. Here's How to Make It Work in Your Favor [Watch (HLS stream): Anxiety Feels Terrible, But It Has an Upside. Here's How to Make It Work in Your Favor](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/2dfRL909.m3u8) (3:05)  _Published 2021-11-04. These days, there’s a lot to be anxious about. Between losing loved ones and experiencing financial strain to family stress and fears about illness, many of us are struggling more than ever._ Description, summary, key points, chapters, key quotes, questions and transcript, where present, were produced automatically from the video or its captions and were not reviewed. ## Summary The video explains that anxiety and depression were already widespread before the pandemic and have been worsened by COVID, and notes that people are not taught how to handle emotions. It describes common physical symptoms of anxiety and frames emotions as innate, evolved responses. It then offers practical steps for working with anxiety in the moment: becoming aware of it, naming and validating it without judgment, grounding oneself, breathing deeply, and scanning the body to identify core emotions. ## Key points - The speaker says there is an epidemic of anxiety and depression that existed before the pandemic and has since been exacerbated. (00:01) - The speaker says COVID has unleashed major cocktails of emotions and that people are not taught what to do with emotions in society. (00:08) - Physical symptoms of anxiety listed include headache, tense shoulders, knotted stomach, stomach upset, racing heart, sweaty palms, looping thoughts, and insomnia. (00:30) - The speaker describes emotions as software programs humans are born with, which evolved over thousands of years because they helped humans survive and thrive. (00:50) - The speaker lists core emotions as anger, sadness, excitement, sexual excitement, and joy. (01:13) - The first step in working with anxiety in the moment is becoming aware of it, since people cannot work with anxiety they do not recognize. (01:30) - When anxious, the speaker suggests scanning the body and asking whether one is angry, sad, or afraid, noting it could be more than one emotion. (01:46) - The second step is to name and validate the anxiety without judging oneself, simply saying 'I'm anxious right now.' (02:03) - Suggested grounding practice: find a quiet place, feel your feet on the ground, practice deep belly breathing, then scan the body from head to toe to identify core emotions. (02:29) ## Chapters - [00:00 to 00:50] Anxiety epidemic and physical symptoms. The speaker describes rising anxiety and depression worsened by COVID and lists common physical symptoms of anxiety. - [00:50 to 01:30] Emotions as evolved survival programs. The speaker explains emotions as innate, evolved tools and names several core emotions. - [01:30 to 03:05] Practical steps for working with anxiety. The speaker outlines steps including awareness, naming and validating anxiety, grounding, breathing, and body scanning. ## Key quotes - [00:01] Speaker: "we have an epidemic of anxiety and depression that we had before the pandemic" - [00:08] Speaker: "COVID has unleashed major cocktails of emotions" - [00:21] Speaker: "we aren't taught what to do with emotions in our society" - [01:30] Speaker: "we have to, we have to become aware of anxiety" - [02:03] Speaker: "learn to name and validate the anxiety without judging ourselves" - [02:29] Speaker: "Practice some deep belly breathing, which is a great way to sort of help calm the anxiety right away" ## Questions this video answers - What physical symptoms can signal anxiety? [00:30] - What are emotions, according to the speaker? [00:50] - Which emotions does the speaker list as core emotions? [01:13] - What is the first step in working with anxiety in the moment? [01:30] - How can someone name and validate their anxiety without judgment? [02:03] - How can someone ground themselves and calm anxiety in the moment? [02:29] ## Content suitability - health controversy [00:01-00:21]: Discusses an anxiety and depression epidemic worsened by the pandemic; mental health subject matter without graphic detail. by [Hilary Jacobs Hendel](https://time.com/author/hilary-jacobs-hendel/) and [Juli Fraga](https://time.com/author/juli-fraga/) Updated: Dec 12, 2023 12:26 AM UTCPublished: Oct 28, 2021 6:57 PM UTC These days, there’s a lot to be anxious about. Between losing loved ones and experiencing financial strain to family stress and fears about illness, many of us are struggling more than ever. by [Hilary Jacobs Hendel](https://time.com/author/hilary-jacobs-hendel/) and [Juli Fraga](https://time.com/author/juli-fraga/) Updated: Dec 12, 2023 12:26 AM UTCPublished: Oct 28, 2021 6:57 PM UTC These days, there’s a lot to be anxious about. Between losing loved ones and experiencing financial strain to family stress and fears about illness, many of us are struggling more than ever. In a [2021 survey](https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2021/03/one-year-pandemic-stress) of more than 3,000 adults, 47% reported feeling anxious, and 57% of Black adults said they worried about their future. In addition, 54% of essential workers admitted to drinking alcohol and overeating to ease their emotional pain. Anyone who’s [experienced anxiety](https://time.com/5808278/coronavirus-anxiety/) knows the distress it can bring. Often, this spiky emotion causes a racing heart, headache and knotted stomach. Frequently, we interpret these sensations as a danger sign. For instance, we might mistake social anxiety as evidence that _everyone_ dislikes us or believe performance anxiety means we’re actually impostors. While anxiety certainly feels terrible, it does have an upside. In her new book, _Good Anxiety_, neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki repositions anxiety as a potentially positive force in our lives that can open the door to self-care and resilience—two things that inoculate us from [stress](https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-36332-001). From this vantage point, social jitters might be a sign to reach out for support, while performance woes might be a signal to practice our craft a little more or spend two minutes in a power pose. When we realize anxiety can be a helpful messenger, we can make it work in ways that benefit our psychological well-being. From this perspective, anxiety isn’t a symptom we solely manage with medication or behavioral therapies (even though [research](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/da.22728) shows these treatments work); it’s also a cue to search for its underlying cause. Like a detective, we can start by asking ourselves some exploratory questions. For instance, “How does anxiety show up in the body?” “What is it telling us?” and “What core emotions brew beneath our anxiety?” Illuminating anxiety’s relationship to underlying core emotions can lead to lasting change, [emotion-focused researchers](http://reachingthroughresistance.com/reaching-resistance/) point out. Core emotions like sadness, anger, fear, disgust, joy, excitement and sexual excitement affect the whole body to make it move in ways that help us survive and thrive. This is why fear mobilizes the body for running and anger gets us ready to fight. However, we also have another category of emotions called inhibitory emotions, more commonly known as anxiety, guilt and shame. The key to moving through anxiety lies in understanding the difference between core and inhibitory emotions. As emotion-focused therapists and educators, we teach our patients about this relationship. Like a high-speed motor, anxiety revs us up, making it hard to think clearly because our thoughts and feelings become a [threat](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005791607000481). When we’re in this amped-up state, anxiety blocks core emotions, making it impossible to sense our emotional needs, let alone use them in ways that help us. The good news, however, is that we don’t need to remain stuck. Anxiety can be a clue that we need to identify and experience our core emotions, which leads to calm and clarity. Here are some tools that can help untangle anxiety and make it work in our favor, not just in the moment but for years to come. **Acknowledge anxiety.** When children are flooded with big feelings, adults often tell them to “use their words,” because putting language on anxiety helps dial it down. [Researchers](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x) call this “affect labeling.” One [study](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x) found that naming negative emotions calmed down the amygdala, the part of the brain where feelings light up. When this happens, emotional reactivity loses its charge because the right and left parts of the brain become more connected, says psychiatrist and author Dr. Dan Siegel in his book _Mindsight_. For instance, many of our patients tell us they obsess over their mistakes or ruminate about work, which are common symptoms of anxiety. In situations like these, merely saying to yourself, “I feel anxious” can lead to what psychologist Diana Fosha[,](https://aedpinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/2013%5FFosha%5FA%5Fheaven%5Fin%5Fa%5Fwild%5Fflower.pdf) developer of Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy. calls a “[click of recognition](https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/undoing-aloneness-transformation-suffering-flourishing).” Naming our emotional experience is validating, which permits us to be authentic. In addition, accepting our emotions disarms the need for defense mechanisms—behaviors like overworking, denial and addiction that numb pain but suck up vital energy. Without the need for these Band-Aids, we’re better equipped to use our energy to engage in work and relationships. **Slow anxiety down.** When you’re anxious, a decisive step is to slow the body down with body-based tools like grounding and deep belly breathing. When we’re in the throes of anxiety, being told to “take a deep breath” can come across as overly simple or downright aggravating. However, science tells us breathing can slow down anxiety’s engine. Neuroscientist Stephen Porges, who developed “polyvagal theory,” says diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which triggers the body’s relaxation response. When this happens, stress hormones like cortisol decrease, and we feel immediate relief, say [researchers](https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874/full). When a patient tells us they’re worry-filled, we invite them to slow down their nervous system by saying, “Right now, can you give yourself permission to move away from your thoughts and into your body? Bring your attention to the soles of your feet as they meet the floor. Sense the firm ground underneath you.” Next comes the invitation to shift into deep belly breathing. We teach, “Take the deepest breath you can and send the air down to the base of your abdomen. Let your belly pop out like a Buddha and try to keep your chest down.” We suggest placing one hand on the chest and the other on the belly to help with this process. Then, we teach them to hold their breath for one beat, then slowly release the breath through pursed lips like they’re blowing on hot soup. We coach them to tune into their body during the whole breathing cycle so they can learn how to breathe in a maximally relaxing way. **Get curious about core emotions.** According to Dr. Judson Brewer, a physician and scientist, curiosity can be anxiety’s companion. Defined as the “[desire to take in new information,](https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1758-0854.2009.01017.x)” curiosity can open the mind to possibilities, which helps us search for novel solutions. Researcher Jordan Litman calls this “interest curiosity,” and studies show it can increase motivation and enhance learning. Thus, through curiosity’s lens, we can see anxiety as an invitation to identify our underlying core emotions. To do this, we encourage our patients to adopt a compassionate and non-judgmental stance toward themselves. Then, we invite them to scan their body from head to toe and notice where they feel anxiety. Next, we ask them to imagine moving the anxiety aside so they can notice what core emotions they are feeling. For example: “Is sadness there?” “Is anger there?” “Is excitement there?” More than one core emotion may be present, and they can be opposite. For instance, we can feel sadness and anger at the same time. Noticing each core emotion can help us listen to the message they’re sending. Anxiety always has a more profound meaning. It’s never the end of the story; it’s the beginning. **Identify the conflict.** Anxiety can be a symptom of a deep inner [conflict](http://www.archivespp.pl/uploads/images/2009%5F11%5F1/31%5Fp%5FArchives%5F1%5F09.pdf) that’s throwing us into torturous thinking. For instance, a patient may want to go home for the holidays but dread being with their parents, which causes them to ruminate and feel tense. To get out of this bind, it helps to validate each side of the conflict, or as we say in our practice, change the “but.” Doing so negates each opposing side to an “and,” which creates room for both feelings to coexist. For example, we can validate our desire to see our family, and honor the anger that their hurtful behaviors evoke. Then we can come up with solutions to deal with their behaviors—such as setting boundaries, which can include saying things like, “Dad, if you continue calling me names, I’ll leave.” Sadly, our dysfunctional society, with its many antiquated myths about emotions, sends the message that anxiety is pathological or a genetic defect. But emotion education tools can turn this frightening foe into a wonderful teacher. In the end, anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of being human. **Correction, Nov. 5, 2021** _The original version of this story misstated Dr. Stephen Porges’ first name. It is Stephen, not Steven_. --- ### Most Popular from TIME --- ## Transcript [00:01] What I think we all intuitively know is that we have [00:05] an epidemic of anxiety and depression that we had before [00:08] the pandemic. That's only been exacerbated. COVID has unleashed [00:14] major cocktails of emotions. And sadly, we aren't taught what to [00:21] do with emotions in our society. So it's a huge problem. [00:30] Anxiety comes with a lot of physical symptoms. And so we [00:34] might notice a headache, tense shoulders, a knotted [00:38] stomach, stomach upset, a racing heart, sweaty palms, thoughts [00:44] that loop over and over, insomnia. [00:50] You can think of them as these individual software [00:54] programs that we are born with, where they're wired in from the [00:59] get go at birth. And these evolved over 1000s and 1000s of [01:05] years, as humans evolved, because they helped us survive [01:11] and thrive. [01:13] So core emotions are anger, sadness, excitement, [01:18] sexual excitement, joy, I think there are a lot of different [01:22] ways that anxiety can be treated. And it depends on what [01:24] we see as the focus of the problem. [01:30] The really actionable steps to working with anxiety in [01:34] the moment is number one, first and foremost, we have to, we [01:38] have to become aware of anxiety. But if we don't know that we're [01:41] anxious, then we won't know to stop and work with it. So if I [01:46] get anxious, I scan my body and I asked myself, am I really [01:50] angry? Am I really sad? Am I really afraid of something, and [01:55] it could be more than one emotion and feeling and then we [01:58] have to hold each and every emotion. The second is to learn [02:03] to name and validate the anxiety without judging ourselves, just [02:09] to merely be able to say to myself, I'm anxious right now is [02:14] very important, then we can look for the underlying core [02:18] emotions, or the core needs or the core conflicts. And so to do [02:25] that, you would find a nice quiet place, feel your feet on [02:29] the ground, right, which kind of tells us that we've got a firm [02:32] ground underneath us. Practice some deep belly breathing, which [02:38] is a great way to sort of help calm the anxiety right away. And [02:43] as we start to relax, then I would scan my body from head to [02:48] toe and toe to head and really say which of the core emotions [02:52] can I name and again, this is a practice over a lifetime, but [02:56] once we start we feel immediate results. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/6111258/good-anxiety-therapists/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/6111258/good-anxiety-therapists/"},"headline":"Anxiety Feels Terrible, But It Has an Upside. 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