TIME animals

This Highly Coordinated Cat Knows How to Use a Water Cooler

Probably its first step toward inevitable world domination

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This cat is smarter and more agile than most humans we know. Watch as it deftly determines how to operate a water cooler.

TIME Food & Drink

You Can Now Get Tofu McNuggets at McDonald’s in Japan

Views Of FamilyMart Convenience Store And McDonald's Restaurant As Retailers Halt Chicken Sales From China Supplier
Yuriko Nakao / Bloomberg / Getty Images

Ingredients include "onions, soybeans, carrots and minced fish"

If the “chicken” in McDonald’s “chicken” nuggets freaks you out, head over to Japan to try the franchise’s newest snack: Tofu Shinjo Nuggets, which officially go on sale this Wednesday.

They don’t include any chicken — instead, they’re made from ingredients including onions, soybeans, carrots and minced fish, a McDonald’s spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal. They’ll also come with a ginger-flavored sauce.

“Because it isn’t meat, it tastes a bit different. It’s a bit softer,” the spokesperson said. “Calorie-wise, it is a bit lower than chicken as well.”

They basically look like little patties with some pale bits of vegetables mixed in. Check them out in this advertisement:

Apparently, McDonald’s had plans to begin selling this product well before the recent allegations that the chain had been using expired meat.

TIME viral

The Best News Bloopers of July

Including a prank call to MSNBC about Malaysia Airlines flight MH17

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The month in entertaining news bloopers featured empty anchor desk chairs, a reporter swallowing a fly and a dog relieving itself in the background of a BBC weather report.

The most high-profile blooper is the clip of the prankster who called in to MSNBC last week pretending to be a U.S. staff sergeant who witnessed the missile strike that shot down Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine.

And the video caps off with the moment when Joan River stormed out of a CNN interview because she thought the questions were judgmental and nasty — which David Letterman later spoofed by walking out on his Late Show interview with her.

WATCH: The Funniest News Bloopers of June 2014

WATCH: The Funniest News Bloopers of May 2014

TIME celebrity

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch Doing His Dragon Voice From The Hobbit at Comic-Con

He sure knows how to please a crowd

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At San Diego Comic-Con this year, Benedict Cumberbatch was quite the busy little bee. When he wasn’t off chillin’ with penguins, he was indulging his fans (er, excuse me, his Cumberbabes) by practicing the dragon voice that he crafted for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

Sadly, he only says one phrase in this very special voice, but come on, don’t be greedy.

TIME Science

2 New Holes Mysteriously Appear in Siberia

A view of a large crater on the Yamal Peninsula on July 16, 2014.
A view of a large crater on the Yamal Peninsula on July 16, 2014. Itar Tass—Corbis

More holes are discovered in Siberia, leaving scientist puzzled

Two new mysterious holes have appeared in the Siberian permafrost, the Siberian Times reports—just two weeks after the first crater appeared in the northern Yamal peninsula.

The second hole, some 15 meters wide, was found a few hundred kilometers away from the first, also in the Yamal peninsula. Like the first, the second hole has piles of dirt surrounding the perimeter, indicating an excavation or explosion. However, scientists have yet to confirm what’s causing the strange phenomena. Some believe they’re a result of meteorite impacts, while others look towards natural gas explosions under earth’s surface.

 

Mikhail Lapsui, a deputy of the regional parliament, inspected the second hole, reports the Siberian Times, while also gathering information from locals.

“According to local residents, the hole formed on 27 September 2013,” Lapsui told the Times. “Observers give several versions. According to the first, initially at the place was smoking, and then there was a bright flash. In the second version, a celestial body fell there.”

Reindeer herders stumbled upon the third crater alongside a pasture trail in the Taymyr peninsula to the east of Yamal. Scientists estimate that hole to be 60 to 100 meters deep with a diameter of 4 meters.

The two new holes will undergo investigations. The first hole—70 meters deep—revealed an ice-covered lake at the bottom.

[Siberian Times]

TIME United Arab Emirates

Dubai’s Kids Now Worth Their Weight (Loss) in Gold

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Stack of Gold Bars Getty Images

"Your Child in Gold" program will award two grams of gold for every kilogram (2.2 pounds) a child manages to shed over two months

Dubai has devised a rather unorthodox plan to incentivize its citizens to lose weight: Shed pounds, and we’ll give you some gold. And if you’re a child — we’ll give you double.

Participants will be awarded one gram of gold, worth just under $42, for every kilogram (2.2 pounds) in weight lost. But if a family has a child over 2 but under 14 years of age, then they will receive 2g for every kilo lost. Only two children can participate per family, and the minimum weight loss is 2kg to be eligible.

Last year the program focused principally on Dubai’s adult population, and it paid out $762,340 in gold, Quartz reports.

The Dubai Municipality launched the “Your Child in Gold” initiative during Ramadan. The website for the competition gives weight loss advice: “Ramadan is the most appropriate season to launch such initiatives as it reminds us about many health benefits of reducing weight and encourages us to take strong steps to change our bad lifestyles.”

Last week, the Kahleej Times reported 341 children had officially weighed in to participate in the 2-month program.

Quartz cited a 2012 BMC Public Health Journal study which found that the UAE is the sixth most obese nation in the world.

TIME Art

This Furniture Looks, Feels and Smells Like It’s Made Out of Human Skin

Red chair
Getty Images

Strangely, not part of the Buffalo Bill Home Collection

A set of furniture designed by Gigi Barker looks a lot like what Hannibal Lecter might use to decorate his family room.

The British designer and founder of design studio 9191 has crafted a material that has the look, feel and — thanks to the addition of after shave to the mix – smell of human flesh. Barker used the pheromone-impregnated silicone base to craft a collection of chairs and footstools, which were modeled after the Rubenesque folds of a man’s stomach. No word on whether you need to moisturize the chairs with lotion to help them keep their luster.

While the chair may make your skin crawl, Barker isn’t just trying to creep out her audience. She believes that the unique material lets people form a physical connection to the piece and allows them the opportunity to examine their relationship to their own skin and other people’s. Plus, the material reacts to bodies and according to Barker, speaking to Wired UK, matches a human’s body temperature, which is “perfect for soothing a crying baby”.

If the concept doesn’t scare you, the price tag might – the combined cost of the chair and stool is over $4,000 (£2,380). That said, Barker’s show at Central Saint Martin’s sold out last month, according to Wired UK, and she’s already in talks with retailers.

MORE: Sweden’s ‘Hannibal Lecter’ is Set Free

MORE: Ikea’s Chinese Stores Invite Customers to Take a Snooze

TIME Sports

Losing Korean Baseball Team Replaces Fans With Cheering Robots

And so it begins...

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Korea’s Hanwha Eagles do not have a good record. The baseball team has wracked up 400 losses over the last five years, according to the BBC. But just because a team has a losing record, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve big cheers — just ask any New York Knicks fan!

To make sure that the Eagles stadium is filled with the roar of the crowd and that team morale stays high, the Eagles are taking a page from The Future and adding cheering, chanting robots to their stadium seats.

Hanwha’s robot fans will work as stand-ins for human fans who can’t attend a game. Remote fans will be able to control some of the robots’ movements — presumably certain hand gestures in the direction of umpires — and can even upload an image of their face to be shown on the machine’s screen. The robots will also let fans watch the game from afar, giving more fans the opportunity to join in the action and cheer on their team.

“It’s a pretty neat idea,” Hanwha Eagles pitcher and former Minnesota Twin Andrew Albers says in the video the team released to explain the presence of robots in their stands. “It gets the crowd into it and really helps them get involved.”

If robots cheer at the robot World Cup or the Femme Bot battles, can act as mules and write the Torah, how long until they decide they don’t need humans at all? Oh wait, they still need someone to battle in Connect Four.

MORE: Congress Gets Banned from Editing Wikipedia

MORE: Attaching a GoPro Camera to a Car Wheel Creates a Weird, Futuristic Kaleidoscope

TIME Panda Sex

Richard Nixon Asked a Reporter to Watch Panda Sex

A new book details the former president’s keen interest making sure his new pandas got busy

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When former Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai gave the United States two pandas in 1972, the result, as captured in a pun-perfect turn of phrase by first lady Pat Nixon, was “panda-monium,” report the authors of the new book The Nixon Tapes: 1971-1972.

And that panda-monium–something which we here at TIME, progenitors of our very own replacement panda-cam, know all about–has continued, once more proving that we are but one nation, under panda.

But the very first panda lover of all of us–the prototypical panda pursuer, the panda panderer to rule them all–was none other than bowling enthusiast and nearly two-term President Richard M. Nixon.

Nixon’s interest in his new Chinese pandas, Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing, was such that he was touchingly concerned with their sex lives.

Here’s Nixon’s exchange with Washington Star foreign editor Crosby Noyes, courtesy of The Washington Post.

Nixon: The problem, however, with pandas is that they don’t know how to mate. The only way they learn how is to watch other pandas mate. You see?

Noyes: [laughs]

Nixon: And, so they’re keeping them there a little while—these are younger ones—

Noyes: I see.

Nixon: —to sort of learn, you know, how it’s done.

Noyes: Sure, learn the ropes—

Nixon: Now, if they don’t learn it, they’ll get over here and nothing will happen, so I just thought you should just have your best reporter out there to see whether these pandas—

You get the picture.

In exchange for the pandas, the U.S. gave China two musk oxen, which are neat enough, sure, but it’s pretty clear who got the better end of that deal.

TIME Books

The Gang From Always Sunny Has Written a Self-Help Book

FX Season Premiere Screenings For "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" And "The League"
Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic / Getty Images

Because they're totally the kind of people who should be giving you advice

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny have already taught us plenty of things: how to sing a cappella, how to excel at the game of Flip Cup, and how not to act on a first date, for example. Since they’re so good at teaching people how to live their lives, they’ve written a self-help book, which will be released in January. (It’s available for pre-order on Amazon now.)

The book is called It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today. Based on the description, it’s actually a bit hard to tell if it’s really a self-help book, or if it’s simply a book outlining the story of the gang writing a self-help book:

The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.

But further details suggest that the book will indeed include some real advice:

In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.

We already knew they were crab people — now we also know they’re book people.

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