TIME Tech

Here’s Why Bill Gates Is Jealous of Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates
From left: Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates Getty Images (2)

As revealed in his latest Reddit AMA

On Wednesday afternoon, Bill Gates returned to Reddit for his third “Ask Me Anything” session. Though this AMA didn’t prove to be quite as informative or entertaining as his past efforts, he did share some fun tidbits. For example: he prefers sauce over dry rub when he eats barbecue, and he’s got two dogs named Oreo and Nilla.

The Microsoft cofounder also took a moment to praise Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. One Redditor asked, “Is there anything in life that you regret doing or not doing?” Here’s how the billionaire responded:

I feel pretty stupid that I don’t know any foreign languages. I took Latin and Greek in High School and got A’s and I guess it helps my vocabulary but I wish I knew French or Arabic or Chinese. I keep hoping to get time to study one of these – probably French because it is the easiest. I did Duolingo for awhile but didn’t keep it up. Mark Zuckerberg amazingly learned Mandarin and did a Q&A with Chinese students – incredible.

So there you have it. Bill Gates is not perfect and doesn’t even speak any languages besides English.

TIME viral

Watch a Weatherman Stay Cool When His Map Shows Ridiculously Hot Temperatures

He showed he could take the heat

It was 1350º, 1665º, 2960º, and 1270º in the greater Phoenix area Tuesday, according to Arizona’s Fox 10 News weather map. A consequence of global warming? More like a really unfortunate, but hilarious, technical glitch.

FOX 10 Arizona Morning’s weatherman Cory McCloskey just rolled with it: “1270 in Ahwatukee. Now, I’m not authorized to evacuate Ahwatukee, but this temperature seems pretty high…Frankly, Wickenburg [2385] is a total loss…Surprise is starting to heat up as well at 1300 degrees…Again, I’m not your dad, but I would get out while you still can.”

TIME Internet

This Website Will Turn Your Tweets Into Beautiful, Ridiculous Poems

Twitter Says 23 Million of Its Users Are Not Actually Bots
A user scrolls through a Twitter feed. Bloomberg via Getty Images

Shall I compare thy Twitter feed to a summer's day?

Some people already seem to think tweeting is an art form — and a new website wants to take your 140-character quips and turn them into real, bona fide poetry.

This wonderful tool, called Poetweet, will simply scan your tweets and turn them into one of three poetic forms: either a sonnet, a rondel or an indriso. All you do is plug in your Twitter handle, choose the form you prefer and then sit back and wait for magical, poetic glory to emerge.

I tested it out with my personal Twitter account and got some interesting results. It’s not the best poem, necessarily, but my co-workers seem to think it captures my essence pretty well:

American Listicle
by Samantha Grossman

Same
PLAY BY THE RULES
Of human emotion at a Knicks game
One shiba who smiles about bubbles

I was on the edge of my seat!
First place at Mean Girls trivia
10/10 would eat
Have been posted on Facebook. via

Including two run-by fruitings.
Stop saying “screenshotted”
You’re missing important things

And Darth’s head!
For Ebola in New York City. Welp.
Offering laptop batteries instead?

Try it for yourself here, but don’t expect to feel like the next Wordsworth.

TIME

Boston Police Aid Search for Mystery Marathon Shovelers

Two men appear to have kept the finish line clear during blizzard

Boston police were trying to solve a mystery Wednesday: who shoveled of the finish line of the Boston Marathon route?

The quest has inspired its own hashtag — #WhoShoveledTheFinishLine — as locals try and figure out the mystery shoveler’s identity. Philip Hillman may be the responsible for the hunt. He photographed a man shoveling snow off the end of the Boston Marathon route.

Two Instagram photos of what appear to be two different men shoveling snow suggest that the deed was not a one-man job, however.

“I was in the right place at the right time,” Hillman told TODAY. “He maintained it for a little while, but it was in the middle of the blizzard. I had no idea it would affect people the way it has, and I’m happy it has touched as many people as it did.”

The city decided to maintain the paint that marks the finish line in Boston’s Back Bay neighborhood following the 2013 attack on the city. This week’s blizzard covered Boston with more than two feet of snow.

Giving respect to the #BostonMarathon finish line. #blizzardof2015 #boylston #boston #cnnsnow

A photo posted by monkmpls (@monkmpls) on

 

TIME Advertising

This Super Bowl Ad Purposely Wants to Put You to Sleep

Squarespace recruited Jeff Bridges to lull viewers into an REM cycle

The stereotypical Super Bowl commercial involves car chases, celebrities, Victoria’s Secret models, puppies and other tropes that keeps the eyes of viewers eagerly on their screens.

Squarespace, on the other hand, wants its Super Bowl ad to put people to sleep. And it has enlisted Jeff Bridges to help.

The actor launched an album called “Jeff Bridges Sleeping Tapes” Wednesday that aims to lull listeners into a REM cycle using guided meditations, relaxing sounds and Bridges’ silky smooth voice.

Where does Squarespace come in? Well, Bridges used the website publishing platform to create the album’s website, called DreamingWithJeff.com. Donations for the “pay what you like” tapes goes to Share Our Strength’s No Kid Hungry campaign.

It’s possible that the prospect of napping with The Dude will be more appealing to big game watchers than taking selfies with Kim Kardashian.

 

TIME celebrity

Here’s What Conan’s Show Would Look Like in Minecraft

Game on

On Tuesday night, Conan O’Brien says his show’s team asked Minecraft, the popular virtual world video game, if they could do an episode of Conan in Minecraft, and the company said no. But considering there are tons of customizable Minecraft maps, it was not hard for the comedian’s staff to just make their own. There is a red-headed cubist figure of Conan, his desk, the audience and the game even played around with the idea of hosting the show from a pirate ship or fire pit.

It is not the first time the comedian has lampooned the blocky game. He mocked Microsoft’s acquisition of its maker Mojang in the format of the game and, in a 2012 mock review of Minecraft for Xbox 360, described players as “young people [who] really can’t see well…people who have never seen what a real house looks like, and [who] like depressing climates.”

TIME Music

This Supercut Shows Why Songwriters Should Stop Using ‘Whoa Oh Oh’ All the Time

Mostly because EVERYBODY is overusing it in modern indie and pop songs

A few weeks ago, we shared a video that showed how formulaic modern country music can be. Now, we’d like to share a video showing that pop and indie music can be just as unimaginative.

It’s a supercut of around 60 songs that all use the words “whoa oh oh” in the chorus. You don’t realize just how common these lyrics (or really, these non-lyrics) are until you hear the songs one after the other. Theses indie and pop tunes are all from 2006 to present, according to the video’s creator, who first shared it on Reddit.

Here’s a Spotify playlist that includes all the songs:

Because as unimaginative as a lot of these songs are, they’re really just so catchy. Enjoy.

TIME society

Local News Anchor Announces ALS Diagnosis and Retires in Touching Broadcast

After almost 40 years, Larry Stogner told viewers, "We have to stop meeting this way"

When longtime North Carolina news anchor Larry Stogner participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge last summer, he didn’t yet know that he was one of the 30,000 Americans who suffer from the neurological disease.

“I am sure that in recent months, you’ve noticed a change in my voice, my speech slower,” the anchor at ABC affiliate WTVD said in a touching broadcast last Friday. “Many of you were kind enough to email me ideas about what it might be, or just to show concern, and I truly appreciate that. As it turns out, I have ALS, Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”

After almost four decades reporting the news, Stogner announced his retirement, telling viewers, “We have to stop meeting this way.”

After a vacation with his wife, Stogner will be back in two weeks to talk on-air with his colleagues and say a more formal goodbye.

Read next: Here’s What’s Happening With the Ice Bucket Challenge Money

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME Advertising

Budweiser’s Super Bowl Ad About a Lost Puppy Is An Emotional Roller Coaster

Animal friendship at its finest

Budweiser has done it again.

Despite false rumors that the beer company was nixing its signature Clydesdales for the big game ad, Budweiser has continued its very successful strategy of highlighting the power of animal friendship. In a sequel to its 2014 ad “Puppy Love,” “Lost Dog” tells the story of an 11-week-old golden Lab who gets separated from his best friend — a Clydesdale horse.

What comes next is a minute-long emotional roller coaster that will make you feel like you’re watching Homeward Bound for the very first time.

Budweiser

Eight puppies between 11 and 12.5 weeks old were used in the filming of this ad, directed by RSA’s Jake Scott. The poignant soundtrack is by Sleeping At Last, who offer up an acoustic version of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” originally by the Proclaimers.

We won’t spoil the saga — warning: there are wolves!! — but you might want to sit down.

Read next: A Look at Budweiser’s Successful Clydesdale Campaign

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

TIME viral

Watch Barack Obama Sing ‘Uptown Funk’ (Sort Of)

Don't believe me, just watch

Well, here’s a bit of evidence that Mark Ronson’s “Uptown Funk” is probably going to be the next “Happy.”

With some very careful editing, the popular YouTube channel known as Baracksdubs has created the illusion of President Obama singing the infectious hit song. Sadly, no, Barry O does not actually sing, but snippets of his speeches are spliced together to make it seem like he’s singing. (Past songs include “Fancy,” “Get Lucky” and “SexyBack.”)

As always, this makes us wonder when he said certain words. For example, we obviously know why he’d say “Michelle,” but when would he have said Pfeiffer?

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