TIME Viral Videos

Watch The Kardashians and The Real Housewives Get the Bad Lip Reading Treatment

Thank Red Nose Day for this

Kourtney Kardashian really wants to share her fish sticks with her sister, Kim. At least according to a bad lip reading of their conversation courtesy of Red Nose Day. Of course they weren’t the only members of the Keeping Up With the Kardashian crew saying strange things in the clip above.

“I put weird stuff in my ear,” “said” Bruce Jenner, according to the expert lip readers used in the video. “Like what?” asked Kris Jenner. “Like Doritos,” Bruce Jenner replied. “That’s where you put it,” Kris replied matter-of-factly.

Other highlights of the poorly interpreted conversations include Real Housewives stars NeNe Leakes, Kim Richards, and more talking nonsense (well, more nonsense than usual).

It’s all good fun for a good cause. Specifically, Red Nose Day a fundraising event that just debuted in the United States, decades after it launched in the U.K. in 1985. The special, which aired on NBC on Thursday, also featured the likes of Julia Roberts, Will Ferrell, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Jodie Foster, Jimmy Fallon, Neil Patrick Harris, Coldplay, Julianne Moore and the cast of Game of Thrones. And, of course, The Real Housewives.

TIME viral

Watch The Rock Officiate a Superfan’s Ambush Wedding

Don't worry, he still managed to plug his new movie

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a wrestler and actor, and, now, he does weddings.

Johnson married Nick Mundy, a Johnson “superfan,” and Mundy’s fiancée Dilara Karabas, after an elaborate ruse that convinced Mundy that the San Andreas press junket was going really poorly. For his part, Mundy told The Hollywood Reporter “the whole thing was insane.” Mundy, a comedian whose credits include Conan, has highlighted his Johnson fandom in previous videos for Screen Junkies.

And, in keeping with the junket theme, Johnson does manage to throw in a plug for his upcoming movie. “Nothing is more powerful than your union,” he said while officiating. “It carries more force than a bolt of lightning or even the world’s largest earthquake, much like the ones you’ll see in San Andreas starring yours truly hitting theaters May 29.”

TIME viral

J.K. Rowling Also Has Feelings About Neville Longbottom’s Abs

Lesson learned: Tell the woman who created the fictional character you played that you're appearing in your underwear.

Matthew Lewis—a.k.a. Harry Potter‘s hot Neville Longbottom—is completely milking his sex symbol status in a new shoot for Attitude magazine. He’s also giving Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling fodder that makes us blush in solidarity.

Rowling responded to Lewis’ revealing, ab-centric photos with a tweet that reminded people how she’s seen quite a bit of the Potter kids as their careers moved beyond her world of wizards. And, come on, Matthew, you couldn’t give her a heads up?

To make matters worse, Jason Isaacs, the man who played Lucius Malfoy, went for the groan-worthy joke. We get it, Lewis played a character who has the word “bottom” in his name.

TIME viral

Enjoy This Glorious A Cappella Medley of the Various Boy Meets World Theme Songs

Sweet, sweet musical nostalgia

If you’ve already seen Pitch Perfect 2 and need some more aca-entertainment (meh) in your life, check out this glorious a cappella tribute to the beloved 1990s sitcom Boy Meets World.

Sketch comedy group The Warp Zone created this video, which features the various iterations of the Boy Meets World theme music, all done a cappella. Allow their sweet musical stylings to take you back to a simpler time, when interpersonal conflicts were always resolved in 22 minutes and everybody dumped water on each other’s heads, just for fun, long before the Ice Bucket Challenge was a thing.

If you’re thirsty for more, they’ve got a Fresh Prince version too.

Read next: The Pitch Perfect A Cappella Name Generator

TIME Crime

Michigan Man Arrested for Driving 153 MPH on Freeway

That's over twice the speed limit

A 21-year-old from Michigan managed to clock a whopping 153 m.p.h. this week while racing a 2005 Dodge Magnum near Detroit on Interstate 75. He was arrested for reckless driving and his vehicle was subsequently impounded.

The unidentified man went 79 mph in a 70 mph zone before almost doubling that speed father down the freeway, according to MSN.

“We do see speeds like this every once and a while on the freeways, but mostly it’s by high-performance motorcycles; it’s very seldom a vehicle,” Michigan State Police Lt. Michael Shaw told Fox NY.

Alcohol does not appear to be involved and the driver says he was on his way home when police caught up with him.

As for the speeding, it appears the vehicle was modified as its 350 hp V8 engine can normally only do 130 mph thanks to a speed restrictor.

TIME viral

Watch a Mashup of Mad Max and the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Theme

It's Unbreakable Imperator Furiosa

Here are some of the lyrics from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt that work perfectly in tandem with images from Mad Max: Fury Road, as evidenced by this mash-up: “females are strong as hell,” “white dudes hold the record for creepy crimes” and “like a bunch of Punxsutawney Phils.” Okay, just go with us on that last one.

In this video, instead of narrating the story of how Kimmy and the Indiana Mole Women were freed from Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne, Walter Bankston appears to explain how Imperator Furiosa helps Immortan Joe’s wives escape. It’s Unbreakable Imperator Furiosa, a show that we would definitely binge as eagerly as we binged Kimmy Schmidt, but that would probably feature fewer musical numbers. Though, who knows? Mad Max did feature a guy with a flaming guitar.

[h/t Cosmopolitan]

TIME viral

Watch This Store Clerk’s Hilarious Play-by-Play of a Robbery

"Here you go, you forgot this one sir"

When this store clerk in Utah was held at gunpoint, she remained calm and cooperated with the robber. But after he left the store — and was arrested a few minutes later — she managed to have a little fun with what we imagine was a traumatic experience. She went back over the security footage of the whole ordeal and gave it an extremely sarcastic play-by-play.

“I tried to keep him around as long as possible while pressing the emergency button,” the clerk explains on YouTube. You’ll see that she manages to stall him for several minutes, but not in time for the police to arrive. After he left the store, she called the police who found him a few minutes later at a carwash.

Props to this woman for managing to squeeze some humor out of a scary situation.

TIME viral

See How Many Memes Delta Packed Into This Ridiculous In-Flight Safety Video

Get ready to recognize plenty of old Internet friends

Delta’s latest in-flight safety video features the most popular memes on YouTube, such as the kid from the “Charlie Bit My Finger” video, the Annoying Orange, Keyboard Cat, screaming goats and the guy who freaked out about double rainbows.

Over the last couple of years, to make sure passengers pay attention to safety information before take off, Delta, United, Virgin America and Air New Zealand have been making music videos, while Southwest Airlines flight attendants have gone viral for incorporating the talking points into an original rap, country song or stand-up comedy routine.

Passengers may see it on their flights beginning May 25.

Watch next: Delta’s 80s-Themed Safety Video

TIME viral

$100 Million ‘Symbolic’ Judgment Entered in Dog-Attack Case

In this Dec. 9, 2014 photo, Steve Constantine recalls a vicious dog attack from his hospital bed in Detroit.
Mandi Wright—AP Steve Constantine recalls a vicious dog attack from his hospital bed in Detroit on Dec. 9, 2014

Constantine, 50, was mauled as he tried to feed dogs belonging to Derick Felton

(DETROIT) — A judge on Tuesday awarded a $100 million civil judgment to a man who lost most of his left arm, his left leg below the knee and his left ear in an attack by a pack of dogs outside a Detroit home.

It’s unlikely that Steve Constantine will collect anywhere near the amount entered by Wayne County Circuit Judge Daphne Means Curtis, but the meaning runs deeper than money, said Mark Bernstein, his attorney.

“It’s an enormously symbolic statement by the court that this type of conduct is unacceptable in our community,” Bernstein told The Associated Press. “The ability to collect is largely irrelevant. We wanted a number that got people’s attention.

“This was a powerful, loud and clear statement. There was a sense of enough is enough.”

Constantine, 50, was mauled in October as he tried to feed dogs belonging to Derick Felton at a house owned by Felton’s mother.

Police killed one dog at the scene and said they rounded up at least 11 other pit bulls or pit bull mixes that were later euthanized.

Felton faces trial in September on charges of harboring a dangerous animal causing serious injury. He and his mother, Elizabeth Collins Felton, are named in the civil case.

Felton’s lawyer in his criminal case has said the dogs that police rounded up belonged to him, but they weren’t the dogs that attacked Constantine.

The Associated Press left a message Tuesday seeking comment from Felton and his mother.

Neither appeared at Tuesday’s hearing, said Bernstein, who added that he would seek the house owned by Elizabeth Collins Felton as part of the judgment.

He said Constantine is being treated at a psychiatric hospital and has had 22 surgeries.

TIME viral

Allow Christina Hendricks and Elmo to Teach You About Technology

Find the Mad Men allusions!

In Mad Men‘s first episode Joan tells Peggy, “now, try not to be overwhelmed by all this technology” while unveiling a typewriter. Even though Mad Men is now over, Christina Hendricks is still doling out technological wisdom alongside Elmo for Sesame Street.

Maybe Mad Men is just on the brain, but the show’s DNA is all over the clip. “If I need to record myself playing the ukelele, this is the tool of choice: the tablet,” Hendricks says. Doesn’t she doesn’t mean the accordion?

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