These Two Five-Year-Olds Just Schooled Jimmy Kimmel on the Subject of Love

On Wednesday night’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! the late night host embarked on “a mission to educate” the youth of today on the meaning of a certain four-letter word: love.

To do this, he sat down with kindergartners Dean and Arlene to talk about matters of the heart. Having set the scene with a candlelit table and enough roses to put The Bachelorette to shame, Kimmel and the kids discussed their relationship (they don’t have one) and why kissing on TV is gross (it’s the germs). And when he asked the five-year-olds to define love specifically, Arlene gave him a beautiful response. “It’s putting someone’s needs before yours,” she explained, so poignantly that Kimmel seemed to be rendered speechless. “I thought Oprah was off the air,” he joked. “I don’t know how this is happening.”

While Kimmel seemed oddly intent on making the pair fall in love — at one point he produced a very non-scientific gadget called the “Love Meter” to confirm that love was in the air — he only got so far as to get them to admit that the other is “kind of cute.” The burgeoning relationship is likely to have a short shelf life, though, because Arlene a realist. “I’m never going to marry anybody,” she said. “Because it’s kind of disgusting.”