‘Holy Lack of Guacamole.’ Stephen Colbert Gives Us a Chilling Glimpse of an America Without Avocados

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President Donald Trump has been threatening to close off the border between Mexico and the United States in response to migrants and asylum seekers. While the implications for the nation’s immigration policy would be dramatic as well as the impact on five million American manufacturing jobs, one “issue” has really captured national attention: America’s steady supply of avocados could be at risk.

“Holy lack-of-guacamole,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday night’s episode of The Late Show. “What are we supposed to put on our toast now? Jelly? You go to Concord Grape hell, old man.”

Colbert wasn’t done with the subject, though. On Tuesday night’s episode, The Late Show unveiled a trailer for a new movie that paints a bleak picture of an avocado-less America. In Mad Guac: The Avocado Warrior, “renegade gangs of health conscious millennials roam the landscape looking for green gold”. It’s a dismal glimpse of the all too possible, very near future.

While late night jokes about an avocado shortage, Americans eat more fresh avocados (7.5 pounds) per capita each year than they do peaches, pears, plums, prunes and nectarines combined, The Washington Post reports, adding that avocados make up 6 percent of the amount of fresh fruit the average American eats in a given year. When word of Trump’s threat spread, the price of Mexican Hass avocados jumped 34 percent on Tuesday.

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