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What Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Doing to Your Facebook Feed

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Sarah Miller writes for The New Yorker, The Hairpin and other publications

Anne Feeney-Anderson Gotta admit it Feeling a little :-/ about Brad and Angie! Why does Love Never win? Ok have a Good day.

Kathy Kristoff Dan and I were just discussing this and while I used to be #TeamAniston I came around to thinking that they were pretty adorable :-) so it was actually kind of a bummer to see that they had ceased to feel about each other the way I felt about them. :). And not to bring politics into it but I saw that they were splitting up over parenting issues and I can’t help thinking that maybe if folks had better options for taking care of their little ones – like say maybe this country had paid Medical and Family Leave – couples would be able to spend less time fighting and more time enjoying each other, and that’s why #IMWITHHER.

Nick Pistler Anne Feeney-Anderson Maybe love never Wins because we are all being forced to bow to President Clinton and her Wall St. overlords. At least Brad and Angie can get divorced we’re going to be forced to be married to Ms. Lesser of two evils for four years – lol.

Martha Lewis Sorry Nick Pistler but I hardly think that Clinton’s “Wall St. lords” as you call them are what caused two people who, as of two years ago loved each other very much, to unravel so quickly. I myself am thinking about the stress that Angie, who has Jewish ancestry, must feel knowing that there are 11 million Neo-Nazis in this country, most of whom are voting for Trump. I am sure Angie would like to hear you explain your lesser of two evils theory to her broken family this morning.

Hallie Crider Martha Lewis It sure must be nice to sit around all day make up theories about why Brad and Angie split up. Do you even have a job. No sorry you don’t because I just looked at your profile and it says you’re a consultant which news flash is not a job. But I’m not surprised. No one who is voting for Obama’s handmaiden would bother having a job when you could just get a handout from the government and keep that national debt climbing, just like Obama wants it to, so that we can get taken over by whoever they’re actually working for. Honest to God I am so sick of the Government acting like we’re all a bunch of idiots and have no idea what’s going on.

Beth McFarlane Thank you for saying what I know a lot of people are saying Hallie Crider but are afraid to say. I for one am sick to death of everyone in America saying that Trump supporters are racist when it is a Well known fact that Hillary Clinton’s mentor is a KKK leader. Also now we find out that Brad Pitt was cheating on his wife with Marion Cotillard and so I know you’d like to blame everyone else in the world Kathy Kristoff and Martha Lewis but maybe if Liberals weren’t so proud they had a woman running for president who was basically her husband’s pimp as far as I see it Brad wouldn’t have felt free to go running around on Angie with a French lady.

Ned Taylor I think we all need to look at our priorities here – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Marion Cotillard are part of the 1 %. For those of you who haven’t gotten the memo on that, that means they are part of the very small percentage of people in this country who own the vast majority of the wealth. So forgive me if I am not crying a river over their split this morning. Although, Marion Cotillard was both luminous and heartbreaking in a movie that I don’t think a lot of you have seen called “Two Days, One Night,” that touches on a lot of the labor issues this country might have addressed if Debbie Wasserman and her pals at the DNC hadn’t stolen the Democratic primary from Bernie Sanders.

Jill Washington Anne Feeney-Anderson for a second I thought that said “Why does Love Never Wine?” and I was like yum, wine :0. Luv ya. #IMWITHWINE #mrandmrsbridgeisstillgoingtobemydatenightgotosorrynotsorry

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between characters’ names and those of real people is coincidental and unintentional.


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