Sarah Miller

Sarah Miller writes for The New Yorker, The Hairpin and other publications

Recent Articles

The Ballad of the Murderous Poet: A Bob Dylan Tale

Blonde on blonde crime

By Sarah Miller

OMG WTF

(Oh my god what true feminism)

By Sarah Miller

What Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Doing to Your Facebook Feed

In which the Brangelina divorce provides the perfect opening for a comment frenzy on... the election.

By Sarah Miller

'Anthony Weiner' Plans New Career With His Life Coach

Anthony Weiner walked into a life coach’s office. “Hello,” said the life coach, whose name was Tracy. “I guess you’re looking for something else to do with your life.” Anthony Weiner laughed. “I am just...

By Sarah Miller

'Says Who?' Thinking Is Ruining America

Americans are a suspicious and stubborn bunch

By Sarah Miller

'Old Shark' Comments on Old Age, Newfound Fame

When you’re as old as I am, well, once the introductions have been made—pleased to meet you, I am Old Shark, Ye Olde Sharke to my older friends—it’s important to address the rumors. First, no,...

By Sarah Miller

Exclusive Interview: The 'Baby' Who Cried During Trump Rally Speaks

'I started crying at the Trump rally in Virginia not because I am a baby, but because I am an American'

By Sarah Miller

This Is What It Would Look Like If We Treated Bill Clinton Like a First Lady

We are very close to having our first woman president, but let’s not forget that we’re quite possibly on the dawn of another monumental first. If Hillary Clinton wins in November, Bill Clinton will be...

By Sarah Miller

If Bernie Sanders' Staff Took Over Trump's Twitter Feed...

After Bernie Sanders endorsed Hillary Clinton for president, his campaign's social media managers found themselves looking for meaningful work. As it happened, one man was still running for president. After weeks of being implored to...

By Sarah Miller

I Was Taylor Swift's Fourth of July Photographer

An imagined account from America's newest most important documentarian

By Sarah Miller

Lord Grantham Reacts to Brexit Decision

'I am quite afraid I voted—and these are Mary’s words—like a peasant'

By Sarah Miller

Ken Speaks: 'I Will Always Love Barbie, No Matter Her Size'

'If you love Barbie like I love her, you have to let her change—because if you don't, the Elsa dolls have won'

By Sarah Miller

Why We Shouldn't Laugh at Those Dress-Up Victorians

We are all playing pretend about the world we live in

By Sarah Miller

Right Before the End of the Roman Empire the Citizens of Rome Had a Lengthy Debate Over the Color of a Toga

When a fellow American Photoshops not one but two llamas into a different color it means a conversation has ended. (One llama means things are winding down.)

By Sarah Miller

And the Award for Dumbest Hashtag Feminism Goes To...

Campaigns like #askhermore take fun out of a frivolous night while distracting from the real issues

By Sarah Miller

Uma and Renee: I'm 45. Do I Have To Get a New Face Now, Too?

Forgive us as we mourn a more innocent time when we all freaked out about Meg Ryan’s lips.

By Sarah Miller

Good Luck Outlawing Hard Liquor, Dartmouth

Here’s a better idea: require all college students, not just the poor ones, to work a part-time job

By Sarah Miller

Hey, That 'Moron' Who Did or Didn't Cancel School (or Close the Subway, or Shut Down the Roads) Is My Dad

It’s someone’s job to make those decisions, and they’re not easy to make

By Sarah Miller

Tina and Amy Just Showed Us the Right Way To Make a Rape Joke

If you’re going to make a rape joke, you’re going to also have to prove that you care

By Sarah Miller

5 Ways You Can Knowingly Destroy Your Husband And Kill Your Marriage

You might be surprised to figure out how easy it is to willfully make yourself unlovable

By Sarah Miller
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