Like so many morsels of office drudgery, the out-of-office message that one leaves behind while on vacation has acquired its own internal set of stylistic rules. As the New York Times noted last summer, “some cannot resist the opportunity to inject a bit of their personality into their correspondents’ inboxes in absentia.”
In February, John Patrick Pullen offered some utilitarian tips on Motto on how to leave an appropriately polite auto-response—one of which was “don’t be too funny.” With all due deference to our colleagues, what follows is an interactive to generate a less-than-conventional OOO message by answering just three questions. (You can change your answers at any time as you go.)
Sources for poetic responses
More Must-Reads from TIME
- Heman Bekele Is TIME’s 2024 Kid of the Year
- The Reintroduction of Kamala Harris
- The 7 States That Will Decide the Election
- Why China Won’t Allow Single Women to Freeze Their Eggs
- Is the U.S. Ready for Psychedelics?
- The Rise of a New Kind of Parenting Guru
- The 50 Best Romance Novels to Read Right Now
- Can Food Really Change Your Hormones?
Write to Chris Wilson at chris.wilson@time.com