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Ricky Gervais Did Not Hold Back in His Golden Globes Opening Monologue

See the most outrageous jokes from Gervais' show opener

Ricky Gervais delivered a particularly harsh opener at this year’s Golden Globes. He warned his audience in the beginning that he would disappear after delivering his jokes. “Not even Sean Penn will find me,” he said referring to the actor’s recent interview with no-captured Mexican drug kingpin El Chapo. “Snitch.”

He noted that NBC, the host of this year’s Globes, would be completely fair in their decisions. “They’re the only network that’s fair and impartial and that’s because they’re the only network with zero nominations,” he said. “They do not care.”

He went on to poke fun at Caitlyn Jenner: “I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously. Now Caitlyn Jenner,” he said, going on to list the many ways Jenner has moved the conversation about trans rights forward through her own transition. “She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything, can you?”

Of Spotlight, a film about the Boston Globe team who exposed the startlingly high percentage of Catholic priests who molest children, Gervais said: “Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.”

He even took a swipe at America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence, and her crusade for equal pay for women in Hollywood. “How the hell can a 25-year-old live on $52 million?” He went on to note that he did support equal pay. “I’m being paid the same as [hosts] Tina [Fey] and Amy [Poehler] last year. It’s not my fault if there’s two of them, and they want to share the money.” He paused before saying, “It’s funny because it’s true.”

He noted that Hollywood is now rebooting a lot of old franchises with all-female casts, like Ghostbusters and Ocean’s Eleven. “[The studios] get guaranteed box office results and don’t have to spend too much money on the cast,” he quipped.

Of the Golden Globes themselves, he called the awards worthless. “I have three of them,” he said, one of which he said he keeps by his bed. “So just to be clear: that’s a joke about me shoving Golden Globes that I’ve won up my ass, and they asked me to host four times.”

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