![Afghanistan: Bowe Bergdahl Afghanistan: Bowe Bergdahl](https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/bergdahl-journal-mental-state.jpg?quality=85&w=2400)
In a diary entry written shortly before Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl headed to Army basic training in Georgia and more than a year before he walked off base in Afghanistan, the young recruit wrote, “I know that there is light in this darkness, and that I can actuly [sic] reach it if I keep walking, keep moving to it.” That excerpt, from a journal kept by Bergdahl before his capture by the Taliban in 2009, is just one of many that suggest a restless soldier eager to walk away.
Bergdahl’s writings, obtained by the Washington Post from a friend of the young soldier, paint a portrait of a vulnerable and troubled young man who was often psychologically at odds with those around him. Bergdahl, who was discharged from the Coast Guard in 2006 and drifted for several years before joining the Army in June 2008, called himself “the lone wolf of deadly nothingness,” and mentioned having “plans” shortly before he apparently walked off the Afghanistan army base.
The excerpts the Post published from Bergdahl’s journal do not answer the question of whether he deserted or not, and may not play a significant role in the House of Representatives’ investigation into the events surrounding his disappearance from base. But they do reveal important details about his character.
Here’s what Bergdahl’s journal suggests about the soldier’s state of mind before his captivity.
Bergdahl, who is still recovering after his five years in prison, has yet to speak to the media — or, if reports are to believed, his family.
[WaPo]
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