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Myspace’s Brilliant New Marketing Strategy: Reminding You How Awkward You Were in Middle School

Courtesy Myspace

Once the most popular social network on earth, Myspace has sunk to new lows to lure you back

Like an obsessive ex who just can’t let go, Myspace is sending emails to people who haven’t logged in since the aughts to remind them of the good old days. And like anyone who pines for the past –the social network had more than 300 million users (70 million of them in the U.S.) in its heydey — Myspace hasn’t forgotten a single moment you spent together.

First of all, it kept your pictures (shudder), all 15 billion of them. Remember that time you and your best friend wore matching Fall Out Boy crop tops and took mirror selfies? So does Myspace. To help refresh your memory, it’s been including a snap or two in emails begging folks to give it one more chance. You’ll have to log back in to get a better look at photos from your ill-spent youth and delete them.

Myspace isn’t just trying to win you back by assaulting you with nostalgia, though. It’s changed and grown too. Really. The site that Rupert Murdoch famously paid $580 million for back in 2005, then dumped in 2011 for a paltry $35 million, is now partly-owned by Justin Timberlake. Claiming the world’s largest digital music library, it feels more like Spotify or Pandora than its one-time rival Facebook.

That’s great and all, but the vintage pics need to go, ASAP.

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