ISRAEL: The Man Who Would Be King

ISRAEL The Man Who Would Be King “Praised be the name,” said tubby Meoded Barzilai in an Israeli court, “I am a very rich man.” He was penniless when he came from Yemen 30 years ago, but now he lives with his two wives* and ten children in a snappy Tel Aviv apartment house and enjoys a substantial interest in five movie houses, an ice factory and a real estate business.

Six years ago, he told the court, one of his wives came down with a nervous ailment, and when doctors failed to help her, Barzilai bethought himself of a miracle-working Yemenite rabbi whom he had heard of in nearby Akir. Barzilai went to see him and was at once impressed. Rabbi Barti held a sheet of blank paper over the kerosene stove, and slowly there appeared a message on it signed by the Angels Gabriel, Michael and Raphael. A talisman to cure Barzilai’s wife would be found on the rabbi’s roof, said the angel’s message; it was to be smeared with chicken blood and hung around his wife’s neck.

Solomon’s Throne. Barzilai was delighted. But when his wife grew worse instead of better, he went around to Rabbi Barti again. What he heard this time was even more wonderful. “I have been told by the angels,” said the rabbi, “that you are the Messiah, and once this is established you will be able to help your wife yourself.” To prove that he was not lying, Barti took an oath on the Torah that all he had said was true.

Before he could come into his kingdom, said Barti, Rich Man Barzilai must give some proof of his faith—$1,000 in cash. The money was placed under a stone in the rabbi’s courtyard; it duly disappeared and was replaced by a receipt signed by Gabriel, Michael and Raphael. Barti persuaded Barzilai to burn the receipt. It would be returned on Judgment Day, he said. And so it went for four years—another $1,000 for his royal robes, a deposit of $2,500 on a gift of $5,000 “for the Lord himself,” still more for a parcel containing King Solomon’s throne from Elijah’s cave on Mt. Carmel. Barzilai could not resist taking a peek and was chagrined to find nothing but stones. Naturally, said Barti, the angels had changed the throne into stones because the package was opened without permission.

A Lot of Thinking. As Barzilai grew impatient for his kingdom, he began receiving a series of 32 letters signed “God Almighty.” In red ink (when the Lord was angry) and in black (when he was not), the typewritten letters demanded that Barzilai return all documents and paraphernalia to Barti. The return address was not heaven, but % Rabbi Barti. Finally, Barti ordered Barzilai to Tiberias to fast for 40 days. “I ate nothing but a few slices of bread and drank nothing but water,” said Barzilai. “But I did do quite a lot of thinking.” As a result of his thinking, Barzilai went to the police and Rabbi Barti landed in jail.

At the trial in Tel Aviv’s district court, Rabbi Barti conducted his own defense. Barzilai’s story was a pack of lies, he implied. “How could you believe,” he asked Barzilai, “that for so paltry a sum as $5,000 you could buy King Solomon’s throne, his raiment and the treasure dating back to the days of creation—especially as my magic hadn’t even helped your wife?” Answered Barzilai: “I believed because you swore on the Bible, and I am a simple man.”

Convinced of Barti’s “satanic devilish plot” by Barzilai’s guilelessness and by God Almighty’s letters (which proved to have been composed on Barti’s typewriter), the court last week sentenced the wizard of Akir to 18 months in jail. Mourned the man who would be king of the Jews: “I’m not sore about the loss of the money, and I don’t feel the messianic call any more, but I am really sorry that I’m not the Messiah.”

*Illegal under Israeli law, except when, as in Barzilai’s case, he married both wives before Israel became a state.