BURGUNDY: Churchill v. History

A serious war crimes charge was leveled last week at the Duchy of Burgundy and its ruler, Philip the Good (1419-67). During a visit to the historical library of France’s National Assembly, Winston Churchill was shown the original document condemning to death one Joan, sometimes called the Maid, a relapsed heretic. Churchill studied the document and felt called upon to defend England’s role in the affair. “It wasn’t us who did it,” he growled. “It was the Burgundians.”* Historian Churchill further remarked to his French guides: “You will probably find somewhere in these books that the French used to call us English ‘the Goddams.’ It’s an expression we still use. It’s a good thing to keep these old conservative customs.”

* It was indeed the Duke of Burgundy’s men who captured Joan of Arc, who was then sold to the English for 10,000 gold crowns, but it was the English who turned her in to a clerical court (headed by Pierre Cauchon, Bishop of Beauvais). The court declared her excommunicate, a “limb of Satan,” and handed her over to the secular arm, i.e., the English occupation authorities in northern France. The English burned her at the stake.