MANNERS & MORALS: The Pursuit of Happiness

MANNERS & MORALS

For most of his 46 years, Franchot Tone, a well-bred man and an able actor, pursued happiness, usually in the form of blondes. Last week, pursuit of a blonde landed him in a Los Angeles hospital with a brain concussion, a broken nose, and a fractured cheekbone. Against doctor’s orders, the blonde climbed a fire escape, spent two hours with Tone, then announced that she would stick by him. From what newspaper readers had learned of the blonde during the preceding 24 hours, this would seem to be a fate somewhat worse than a brain concussion and a broken nose.

Barrel of Monkeys. The blonde’s name was Barbara Payton, 25, who has been playing around Hollywood for three years in & out of grade-B pictures. Her latest is called The Bride of the Gorilla. What she mainly does is to run, scantily clad, through jungles while an ape-man pursues her. It also came natural for her to be seen cooing with Franchot Tone in the places where Hollywood people go to be seen cooing with each other. During a court battle with his exwife, another blonde named Jean Wallace, Tone was asked about Barbara. “How many times have you seen her naked?” asked his wife’s lawyer. “I couldn’t estimate,” answered Tone, “but I would say frequently.” Hollywood columnists chattered happily about a marriage as soon as Barbara divorced her husband, an automobile salesman back in Iowa.

Those happy days were eight long weeks ago, before Barbara got a second look at Actor Tom Neal, a 37-year-old cowboy actor and onetime amateur boxer. The first look had been disappointing. “Last year, Tom and I have a date.” Barbara explained a few weeks ago. “and he’s playing it real nothing, you know? I think to myself: What have we here, dear? From then on, I avoid him.”

The trouble with the first date was that Tom had his clothes on. On the second occasion, explained Barbara, “I see him at the Sunset Plaza swimming hole. He’s in a pair of bathing trunks. Honey, I just take one look at him and positively flip.” She sighed. “More fun than a barrel of monkeys.”

Six days & nights later. Tone was out and Neal was in. Neal spent the next month and a half lolling around Barbara’s patio doing nip-ups with bar bells while Barbara gazed adoringly. The gallant Neal later told friends: “Barbara asked me to marry her. It wasn’t the other way round. She said she was in love with me.”

Franchot Tone, however, is no man to step aside for an actor who plays supporting roles to range ponies. A triangle was in the making. Though most such triangles tend to be lopsided, this one was isosceles, the two men apparently equal in Barbara’s heart. Isosceles love triangles can be static or dynamic. This was dynamic. Barbara made up her mind differently every day, and sometimes several times a day. As Neal tells the story: “We all met at a party and it was Franchot again with her.” A few nights later, Neal said he got a phone call at 3 a.m. “Look. Tom,” groaned Barbara, “I can’t take it with this

Tone. I want to go back with you, you’re so exciting.” Next day, she called again: “This Tone is too dull. I can’t go this route, see?” Neal decided to wait a little while.

The Way It’s Got to Be. Two weeks ago, said Neal, he went to a party, floored a big Texan who got talking tough, and then went over to see Barbara. Tone was there. With Neal on the scene, said Neal, “Barbara went right to Tone and said, Franchot, this is the way it’s got to be; it’s Tom.'” Tone left, and the happy couple decided to get married on Sept. 15, two days after Barbara’s divorce became final.

One morning last week, when Neal arrived at Barbara’s house, she was on her way out “to an appointment.” Neal stuck around, heard Barbara call her maid, ask that her mink coat and overnight bag be sent to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Right then, Neal got suspicious. “I knew,” he said, “that Tone was back in her life again.”

Neal waited at Barbara’s home. She returned with Tone. “Tom,” she chirped, “it’s got to be like this. It’s Franchot now and you’ll have to get out.” Tom didn’t get out. He called some friends and a party began. Barbara and Franchot left. At 1:30 a.m., when everybody had gone home except Neal, Barbara and Franchot returned. Tone offered to throw Neal out. They went outside. Neal (180 Ibs.) said he tried to reason with Tone (155 Ibs.). Barbara fluttered out. “She runs up to Tone,” said Neal, “and kisses him—but big. That’s when the old adrenalin began to boil. I saw the good old red.”

Someone threw a punch. “I crossed a right to his jaw,” said Neal. “He flew backwards ten feet and down and I was on him like a cat. He’s got me mad now. I give him the right, the left, and the right, and the left . . .” Barbara hopped in screaming. Boxer Neal dumped her in a clump of bushes with a black eye. “We’re all covered with blood,” said Neal. “He’s out.” A neighbor said that Neal hit the prostrate Tone 30 times. It sounded like a punching bag.

A Memorable Decision. By week’s end, Franchot Tone’s physical condition was greatly improved. Barbara visited the actor, whose latest picture is called Here Comes the Groom. After one such visit this week, Barbara said: “We knew yesterday that we would marry, but today he asked me.”

Faced with a possible assault & battery charge, Tom Neal was truly sorry about the fight. “Hated to hit Tone, but Barbara.” he said gallantly, “kept egging us on. She digs that blood & guts stuff.”

Wistfully, Neal, the bridegroom jilted on the wedding eve, recalled that he and Barbara had their Wassermann tests taken together last week. Then he made a decision which may be as important a precedent in the etiquette of Hollywood as Lord Coke’s Rule in Shelley’s Case was to the law of England. Said Tom Neal: “I’m not going to pay for her Wassermann tests if she’s going to marry Tone.”