Miscellany, Sep. 27, 1954

Feature Attraction. In Alicante, Spain, a cow broke loose on its way to the slaughterhouse, roamed into a movie house where a 3-D film was playing, wandered undisturbed around the front of the theater for ten minutes before the customers realized it was not part of the show.

Secret Weapon. In Columbus, Ohio, Policemen George Kegg and Ed Welch saw Pettis Adams run from a restaurant, threw their patrol car into second gear to give chase, caught their man when the noise of their backfire made Adams stop running and raise his hands.

Shoemaker’s Child. In Shively, Ky., after $50 had been stolen from its office, the Shively Insurance Co. ruefully revealed that the loss was not covered by insurance.

Out of Mind. In Philadelphia, after Harry Stone, 44. walked into the Einstein Medical Center and complained that he had suffered severe headaches for several years, surgeons began removing a 32-inch knife blade that had been embedded in his skull for 28 years.

Fellowship. In Torquay, England, fined £2 ($5.60) for being drunk and disorderly and entering the bedroom of Mrs. Hannah Callard, Patrick Campbell, 22, explained to the court: “I thought it was the Y.M.C.A.”

Double Play. In Glendora, Calif., a man walked into Reed’s Hardware Store, asked to see a .45-cal. automatic, was shown a $65 model, admiringly loaded it, pointed it at the clerk, walked out with $41 and the pistol.

Trial Run. In Vienna, Gustav Haubert, 40, asked the judge to let him spend his three-month sentence on an especially hard cot, added: “Also reduce my meals to the barest minimum. I have decided to go into a monastery after I leave jail, and I want to get in training.”

Out on a Limb. In Hackensack, N.J., Albert Kuiken, 64, filed a $10,000 damage suit against Theodore H. Mastin Sr., charged him with cutting down a tree while Kuiken was perched in the upper branches.

Citizen’s Duty. In Baraboo, Wis., James Lee Roper, held in the county jail on a murder charge, wrote Town Clerk Carl Hirschinger: “It may be inconvenient for me to get to the polls to vote next Tuesday; I would like an absentee ballot.”

Popeye. In Salem, Mass., suing Benjamin Pope Marion for divorce, Nancy Rice Marion, 29, testified that he put her over his knee, spanked her, poured a bottle of beer over her head to “cool her off” because the spinach she served him for dinner had not been chopped.