Miscellany, Oct. 4, 1943

Winner Take Nothing. In Cleveland, Frank Lutinacci, running from three robbers, outran them but ran right out of his right shoe, which contained $60.

Bull by the Horns. In Sarnia, Ont., Ethel Trott sued Elmer Mott for breach of promise, complained that he had been putting it off ever since 1908.

Stylist. In Los Angeles, Hans Spangenberg, lover of labials, despiser of sibilants, asked court permission to change his name to Valcour Berne de Belair.

The Blue Bird. In Topeka, Kans., police were instructed to look for a man wanted for robbing City Marshal Peter Alumburg of Sharon Springs, found the robber in jail and wearing the marshal’s pants.

Complete Class. At the University of Texas, the opening class in an English literature course was attended by 30 girls, two boys named Love and Loveless.

Stapler. In Porterville, Calif., William Benedict, out hunting, lined up a couple of deer, bagged them both with one shot.

No Fair. In Kansas City, TWA Executive Otis Frank Bryan reported that over the Atlantic a TWA plane got a radio call from a German submarine commander who complained, correctly, that the plane was using the wrong code for that day.

Windfall. In Somers, N.Y., when a pilotless fighter plane crashed near the home of William H. Lasdon, chairman of the local war-bond drive, he and his committee promptly got to work on the gathering crowd, within an hour had $48,000 in pledges.

Defeat at Gettysburg. In Gettysburg, Pa., Fannie Rager tried & tried to fill out a ration-application blank, finally hanged herself.

No Help. In Salinas, Calif., the principal and faculty of Washington Junior High School had to do the sweeping. At Sweet Briar College, Va., the President and faculty jerked sodas at the local fountain.

Soberer Sue. In Philadelphia, when her boy friend was charged with evading the draft, Susan Cole, once billed by carnivals as Sober Sue, the Mirthless Marvel ($100 if you can make her laugh), muttered: “The way I feel … I could raise the ante to $500.”

Explanation. In Los Angeles, the Rev.

Joe Jeffers’ ex-wife charged that he had failed to keep up his alimony and had explained that Yahweh had told him to cut it out.