HOLLYWOOD: Slipped Mickey

Mickey Rooney celebrated the first wedding anniversary of his fifth marriage, with a fifth. Instead of rolling on home to sleep it off, he kept another date, showed up for a guest appearance on the Jack Paar Show, now visiting Hollywood. Jack, amiably bringing to mind Mickey’s previous four marriages, asked: “What was Ava Gardner really like?” Replied Mickey: “Well, Mr. Paar, may I say this, she is more woman than you will ever know.”

Soon Rooney became maudlin, talked about his good marital fortunes and his wonderful children. His sentences might have been composed by Casey Stengel. Rooney: “But I again sound like tongue-in-cheek I seem somewhat as a smart aleck about something that’s very so so wonderful.” Paar: “I think you’re loaded.” Rooney: “I’m making a puzzling situation out of myself to you.” Paar (to audience): “Don’t stir him up or we’re dead.”

Paar kept saying: “I don’t know what to do,” and Rooney claimed: “I’m not trying to be inobtrusive.” Then Rooney began to discuss the previous night’s Jack Paar Show, said, “I stayed up until I couldn’t sleep any more. May I say this, I’m not a fan. I don’t care to watch your show … It sounds pretty, pretty rotten. I didn’t enjoy your show. Jack. And I don’t enjoy it too much, except I can’t—I can’t stay away from it.” Paar: “Do you enjoy it tonight?” Rooney: “Not necessarily.” Paar: “Would you care to leave?”

So Mickey walked out. “It’s a shame,” said Paar to his microphone. “He was a great talent.” A man in the audience asked if the Mickaruni had really been schnoggered. Paar: “I don’t think so. I think he’s high-strung. But I wouldn’t light a match in here for weeks.”

Next day, hung over in headline. Rooney woke up and got sore, conceded that he’d been “half smashed,” but “a man would have to be drunk to appear on that show. Paar is the dregs of television.” That afternoon, the two men met, and in the end both apologized. Mickey was supposed to reappear on Paar’s show for the sake of good will, but he changed his mind. Paar gleefully announced his replacement: Moppet Star Evelyn (Eloise) Rudie, nine years old and ten inches shorter than Mickey’s 5 ft. 3. Full of good taste. Paar had told his audience earlier that Mickey threatened to sock him on the nose, but Paar took flight because “I don’t want to get hit in the knees.”