ADVERTISING: Will It Mind the Baby?

“Wait—if you want the last peep in pens—for the new Rocket, the pen with the radiumed point, for only $1,099.99!

“No other pen which will do so many amazing, extraordinary things . . . brand cattle, spotweld, etch letters in solid concrete, repel insects or strange men, cut cabs in two pieces, burn holes in any blanket, melt locks (throw away your keys), remove superfluous hair (no smelly, sticky wax or paste!), and call police cars on short wave (if the police don’t call you first!). It may even write, for all we know! . . . And you have only nine more years to wait!”

In the opening gun of a $200,000 ad campaign, Inkograph Co., Inc., producers of $2, non-capillary pens, last week burlesqued the extravagant claims of ballpen makers. The claims had brought in the customers. Reynolds Pen Co., one of the most extravagant claimants and originator of a pen it calls the Rocket, last week reported a handsome net profit of $2,678,815 for the year. Are ball pens that good? Some might be (Eversharp reported a normal 3% on returns). But thousands of Reynolds buyers would answer: No. In its annual report, Reynolds noted that $110,000 had been set aside to cover guarantees on its pens. Its auditors solemnly noted: “There is … no reliable basis on which we could form an opinion as to the adequacy of the provision made.”