Education: Tragedy of Ears

In Manhattan last week one Philip Shafer, 21, began a campaign. Object: to persuade State Departments of Education to forbid teachers to pull moppets’ ears. Philip Shafer, who went to Virginia elementary schools and spent one year at University of Virginia, arrived in Manhattan last year to look for a job. Failing to find permanent employment, he became convinced his big ears were the reason. Thereupon he went to Plastic Surgeon James Stotter. Dr. Stotter said that 50% of cases such as Philip Shafer’s are traceable to bad habits (e. g. wearing one’s hat riding on one’s ears) or pulling of the ears during childhood, when ear cartilage is soft and pliable. Mr. Shafer recalled that teachers had frequently pulled his ears in elementary school. Since Mr. Shafer’s right ear was larger than his left, Dr. Stotter said that he must have had a left-handed teacher. As Plastic Surgeon Stotter prepared to operate on Mr. Shafer’s ears and joined Mr. Shafer in his campaign, New York Academy of Medicine’s Dr. lago Galdston said last week the trouble was not ear-pulling but leg-pulling. Snorted Dr. Galdston: “This is baloney with a thick layer of sausage. If you hung up a boy by his ears for a couple of months, it might change their shape.”