Miscellany, Jun. 29, 1959

Hot Tip. In Huntington, W. Va., Marlin Mitton quit the federal Internal Revenue Service after a bootlegger he was trying to arrest bit him on the end of the nose.

Signed. In Sacramento, Calif., a housewife, in a $50,000 suit against Dr. John C. Farrell, charged that he etched his initials on her while conducting skin tests.

Seedy Case. In Nogales, Ariz., with a juicy watermelon to take home, Police Sergeant Louis Rosas kept it from a fellow officer by carving the word “evidence” on it.

Draw a Blank. In East St. Louis, thieves broke into a high school, made off with 28 typewriters with no letters on the keys.

Crust. In Oshawa, Ont., Newton Morton was fined $10 for throwing a blueberry pie in a man’s face, despite his plea that “the pie was fresh, and my mother baked it.”

Crash Program. In Albany, N.Y., two unemployed laborers were indicted for attempting to derail a freight train so that they could get some work clearing the tracks.

Poop Deck. In Toronto, Clifford Nesbitt staggered while undergoing an intoxication test for drunken driving, won an acquittal when he explained: “I’m an ex-sailor. That’s my swagger left over from naval days.”

Rattled. In Albuquerque, one Navajo took a shot at another, explained, “He was going to turn himself into a snake and bite me.”

Dept. I.Q. In Sylvia, Kans., Arthur Learned married Alice Smart.

Program of Recovery. In New York City, Robert McKinney was arrested when he was caught running a $50-a-day bookmaking business from his sickbed in Triboro Hospital.

Fibrillation. In London, Frank Webb got turned down on his plea for divorce when he left home to become a “better spiritualist,” complained that the “vibrations are all wrong” at his house.

Count Down. In Memphis, the Dixie Finance Co. called off a coin-guessing contest after someone stole the container of coins.

Dry Goods. In Concord, Calif., after burglars looted the safe in his restaurant six times, Joe Molino confronted the seventh burglar with an empty safe and a sign: “Please try some other place. We can’t stand much more of this.”