Miscellany, Nov. 24, 1958

Word of Paradise. In Honolulu, the Dole Pineapple Co. received a job application from Gwendolyn Kuuleikailialo-haopiilaniwailauokekoaulumahiehiekealao-naonaopiikea* Kekino.

Satisfido. In London, while Police-Dog Handler Norman Brown was kicked unconscious by two thugs, his five-year-old dog Harvey sat on the sidewalk and watched.

Grass Widow. In Sydney, Australia, Mary Stephens won a divorce after testifying that her husband preferred to sleep on the lawn.

Chick of Time. From Salt Lake City, syndicated advice-to-the-lovelorn Columnist Ann Landers received a breathless request for her dating-behavior booklet “How Far to Go” with the postscript: “And please hurry!”

Sum Haul. In Montreal, two thugs strongarmed Grocer Argiro Telefougiou into a back room, then got away with an adding machine they thought was a cash register.

Tongue-Thaied. In Seattle, Wash., an Olympic Hotel bell man was required to page Chavala Sukumalanandana of Thailand.

According to Mark. In Indianapolis, a woman stopped 80-year-old Damon Peak on the street, earnestly began to pray for him while her male companion stole his wallet.

Gas Skirt. In Rochester, a thief stole gasoline from Frank Schmid’s car by siphoning it off through a disconnected hula hoop.

Hits the Tot. In Bristol, England, a notice was tacked on an outdoor bulletin board offering a £2 ($5.60) reward to the finder of a LARGE BULLDOG. BLACK

SPOTS ON BACK. EAT ANYTHING. PARTICULARLY FOND OF CHILDREN.

Higher Faculty. In University Park, Pa., Penn State’s Liberal Arts Newsletter reported a talk given by Dean Euwema, said the dean had asserted that “problems brought to him are more easily solved if they are accompanied by a solution.”

Ginger Rap. In Pine Grove, Calif., a ward of the Youth Authority escaped from detention camp, left a note: “I got tired of this place and if you guys want me, you guys got to look for me at home, but please save my cookies until I come back.”

*Translation: “My wreath of love of the as cending heaven waters the leaves of the forest, so graceful its sweet perfume fences the path way through the clouds.” She got the job.