Miscellany, Oct. 12, 1953

To Whom It May Concern … In Hailey, Idaho, the weekly Times carried this classified advertisement: “PERSONAL NOTICE: If the man who stole my wife at the celebration Monday will agree to pay her expenses, he is welcome to keep her as long as he can. But don’t bring her back. E.K.S.”

Age of Consent. In Columbus, Ohio, when James A. Mapes and Pearl C. Lapham applied for a marriage license, the clerk promptly waived the five-day waiting period, explained: “When a man is 83 and his girl friend is 73, they’ve waited long enough.”

Prescription. In Philadelphia, Miss., the Neshoba County grand jury found the county jail in “a deplorable condition,” suggested that “if it is necessary to put drunks arrested in it, they should be kept drunk so as not to sober up and realize the sordid condition of the jail.”

The Defense Rests. In Raleigh, N.C., charged with drunken driving, Lawrence N. Davis told the judge that his car had been weaving only because it needed repairs, then proudly added: “I am one of the best drunken drivers in [the] county.”

Exodus. In London, Ohio, Marion Greer charged his wife with “acting in a way tending to cause the delinquency” of his children, after she piled ten of the family’s eleven children into his car, loaded it with clothing and canned goods, and drove off with a male companion.

Where There’s Smoke. In San Diego, while Vincente Fugueredo stood by loudly protesting, sheriff’s deputies investigated smoke pouring from his Cadillac, arrested him after finding 15 Ibs. of marijuana smoldering beneath the hood.

The Obstacle. In Halmstad, Sweden, after his left ring finger was twisted by a neighbor during an argument, Amos Johannson, 58, sued for damages, won an $80 settlement when he pleaded that his marriage had to be postponed because he could not get his wedding ring on until the swelling subsided.

Waitress’ Day. In Kenosha, Wis., when Milton Hall, 23, entered her lunchroom and threatened her with a pistol, Waitress Margaret Gresham talked him into pocketing the weapon, treated him to a cup of coffee, then called the police, who promptly came and arrested him.

Panacea. In Houston, the federal D.A. filed suit to seize and condemn 1,100 pills stocked by the McDonald Prescription Laboratories, Inc., which advertised that the product would temporarily relieve “physical strain…nervous tension, excessive alcoholism, loss of sleep…laziness,” and would also make the user “feel good and look better and nicer.”