Miscellany, Jun. 16, 1952

Headwork. In Miami Beach, Barber Peter Renucci moved quickly when a nearby competitor knocked 50¢ off the price of a $1.25 trim, posted a sign: “We repair 75¢ haircuts.”

Test Case. In Houston, Mickey Martinez jumped into an undertaker’s display coffin and lowered the lid, later explained to police: “The satin stuff on the top was nice and soft, but the bottom sure was hard.”

Fair Deal. In Bath, England, temporary clerks in the admiralty office campaigned for the same six-day honeymoon leaves as their permanent coworkers, solemnly contended: “The nuptial responsibilities of temporary and established grades are equally grave.”

Old Ties. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Eugene G. Polley, 18, a coed, won a divorce after charging that her husband cut short their honeymoon to return to Clarence W. Pierce School of Agriculture, told her: “Sigma Delt means more to me than you do.”

Substandard. In Higashi Village, Japan, the women’s youth corps put 50 youths through a husband qualification test which included a marathon run, a rice-bag-carrying race, chinning the bar and plowing, flunked all 50.

Sure Thing. In Phoenix. Ariz., Wallace Bros. Circus offered $1.000 to anyone who could stay aboard Tiny Tim, the elephant, for three full minutes, won their wager with two men, a boy and one woman—who sued for $111,000 for injuries.

The Secret. In Los Angeles, Joseph Dawn Louzier, who claims to be 121, signed up for a $10,000 insurance policy with Lloyd’s of London, advised a reporter on the formula for a long life: “Just keep breathin’, son. Just keep breathin’.”

In Trust. In Hitchin, England, William Newnham, 65, appeared in person to pay his income tax, then locked the local tax staff in their office “so they can’t defraud anyone else.”

Woman’s Intuition. In New Orleans, Mrs. Robert Lee James, 27, learned that her husband had confessed to having six wives in six different cities, remarked knowingly: “I always had a feeling he was hiding something.”

Out of Character. In Los Angeles, the 43-year-old man who was so angry when his girl friend went out with another man that he blacked both her eyes, cut her lip, broke her right arm, pulled her hair, broke one of her ribs, burned her with a cigarette, jabbed her near the eye with a bobby pin, and locked her up, told police his name was Arden G. Goodnature.