Miscellany, Aug. 20, 1951

Odd Man Out. In Winnipeg, Best Man Samuel Klein pleaded guilty to stealing the bridegroom’s honeymoon train tickets.

Guided Tour. In St. Louis, when police caught up with James Loeffler, who had gone through a stop light at 65 m.p.h. with no lights and defective brakes, they discovered that his companion was a driving instructor.

Good Riddance. In Okmulgee, Okla., five-year-old Tony Whitley explained to his bootlegging father why he told raiding policemen where the moonshine was hidden: “Well, Daddy, they’ve been here so many times and never found anything and I thought if they found something they wouldn’t come back.”

Free Enterprise. In Salem, Ore., two trusties were back behind bars after Warden George Alexander checked their thriving outside egg-delivery business, discovered the eggs were stolen from the prison farm.

Controlled Economy. In Adelaide, Australia, to save farmers the trouble of milking seven days a week, Governor Sir Willoughby Norrie suggested that they investigate the possibility of hormone treatments, discover a way to keep cows from giving milk on weekends.

Obstacle Course. At Camp Lejeune, N.C., Marine Pfc. Thomas Byrd petted a cat, learned too late it was a skunk, next day got badly stung by a hornet, the following day was bitten by a rattlesnake, upon discharge from the hospital stubbed his toe on the hospital steps, limped back to bed.

Liquid Assets. In New Orleans, Alan Austin advertised in the Times-Picayune: “Lost—brand-new, one-car garage, overhead door, red roof. Builder’s sample. Will sell at cost. Left Kansas City . . . by flood, should pass New Orleans.”

Mixmaster. In Chicago, Orville Andrews told police how they would be able to identify his missing car: a 1949 Chevrolet convertible body, mounted on a 1939 Studebaker chassis, with a 1949 Kaiser front bumper, a 1949 Oldsmobile rear bumper, a 1949 Chevrolet grille and a 1950 Studebaker engine.

Tie That Binds. In Forest Lake, Pa., during an election to decide whether or not the community should ban liquor sales, the drys had a one-vote margin until an absentee ballot arrived from soldier Andrew Kveragas, son of the township’s only tavern owner.

Boom & Bust. In Stambaugh, Mich., Mrs. Mayme Hall was only slightly injured when the .22 pistol she carried in her brassière went off.