Miscellany, Apr. 23, 1945

Bee Line. In Canton, N.Y., bumblebees came out before the blossoms because of the spring heat, buzz-boomed after shoppers who were carrying home fruit and vegetables.

Occupational Hazards. In Sarasota, Victoria, the circus lady who hangs by her teeth from the big top biting a leather thong went to the dentist for some fillings.

Drug on the Market. In Laredo, Tex., at the Mexican border, U.S. customs in spectors seized their first penicillin smuggler.

Operatic Operation. In South Africa, twelve soldiers, each from a different unit, were individually assigned to do a special job, arrived to find there were two Vissers, two Johnsons, two Van der Merwes, two MacDonalds, two Van Wyks, and one Gilbert. Five pairs plus Gilbert waited nervously for No. Twelve to turn up.

His name was Sullivan.

Recruit Wanted. In Philadelphia, an aircraft-carrier crew searched in vain for a mascot — all available monkeys were either too young or too old.

Alarmist’s Holiday. In Stamford, Conn., although Fireman William J. Dowling was off duty, he turned up at each of seven false-alarm trips, was then ar rested for turning in all seven himself.

Tithed & Tethered. In Chicago, three safecrackers bound and gagged Watch man Paul Elston, stole several hundred dollars from the laundry that he was guarding, made a getaway after leaving him a $10 tip.

Grave Warning. In British Columbia, President Birt Showier of the Vancouver and New Westminster Trades and Labor Council warned members not to patronize Ocean View Cemetery, because item ploys non-union grave diggers.

Hustler. In Cambridge, Mass., a patrolman tore up a ticket for speeding after the clergyman-driver explained, “Officer, you have to hustle if you’re going to save souls.” Mother Love. In the Marianas Islands, G.I. Jimmy Anderson, wandering about on patrol, came across a hen sitting on a nest which contained one egg and one live hand grenade.

Orderly. In British Columbia, a life-term prisoner, employed as a bookkeeper, was paroled after 20 years, asked for a reprieve: “It would not be fair [to the prison officials] to leave prison before my records are completed and my books in order.”