Miscellany, Jun. 7, 1948

Handout. In Le Mars, Iowa, Millionaire Herman Schultz announced that he wanted to give away most of his fortune, unwittingly started the ball rolling with a $124,341 donation to burglars.

Man the Unknown. In Brighton, England, Zoo Keeper Peter Gibbs banged his head on a metal post, fell into a monkey cage, woke up shortly to find one of the animals seated on his chest, delightedly twirling his 15-inch mustaches.

Solution. In Oklahoma City, authorities puzzled over the problem of Mrs. Bill Tucker, who shot her husband in the abdomen when she caught him flirting with the telephone girl in a bootleg liquor store, finally solved it by releasing the three principals, jailing the bootlegger.

Burned Up. In St. Louis, Eugene G. Fitzgerald won his divorce. His complaint: she criticized his cooking.

Quick Change. In Chicago, Diaper Deliveryman Irving Zafran explained to police that he had been robbed of his money and his pants, and that was why he was walking the streets in diapers.

Power of Speech. In North Adams, Mass., William Horsfall heard a cry for help from a burning apartment house, rushed in, rescued the sole occupant: a parrot.

Proper Names. In Springfield, Ohio, Police Lieut. John Law announced his retirement. In Oceana, W. Va., the leading candidate for postmaster was Please Wright.

Consuming Hunger. In Minneapolis, Gebhardt M. Moses sued an auto dealer for $30,000, declared that the suspense of waiting & waiting for delivery of his new car had given him ulcers.

Old Hand. In Medellin, Colombia, Candido Zapata, 81, veteran of four marital ventures, attended the christening of his 54th child.

In Memoriam. In Pittsburgh, Burglar Frank Reymer told police how he made sure of quiet spots to work in: he studiously read newspaper obituaries, looted houses while the bereaved were off to the funeral.

Horse Sense. In Chicago’s outskirts a plow horse named Admiral, wearied of the heat, broke the traces and charged down the street to a tavern, lined up against the regulars, plumped his nose on the bar and was rewarded with a free beer. His master, tired of searching for him, dropped into the bar for a quick one, spied the horse; they had another beer together and went back to their plowing.