Miscellany, Feb. 11, 1946

Geronimo! In Port Chester, N.Y., pajama-clad ex-Paratrooper Thomas Thomas bailed out of his second-floor bedroom, landed unhurt on a ledge, explained: “I could swear I heard the sergeant yell ‘Jump!’ “

Jet Propulsion. In Los Angeles, suicide-bent Ronald Neff turned on the gas, forgot to douse the water-heater pilot, blasted himself safely out the window.

Feminine Touch. In Port Douglas, Australia, a horned, buoy-like object on the beach, attacked energetically by a woman with a hammer, yielded a fine batch of clinging oysters; later, towed offshore by a mine-disposal squad, yielded a detonation that shook every building in town.

Dead Weight. In Portland, Ore., a thief politely offered to hold a woman’s heavy shopping bag for a moment, craftily ran off with it, found it contained a dead dog.

Seller’s Market. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Sidney Raskin, after charging her husband $5 each for kisses, sued for divorce.

Social Error. In Denver, Larry Schultz, handsome air-force applicant for a football-coaching job at MacMurray College, learned that he was ineligible. The reason: MacMurray is for girls only.

Selection. Near Long Beach, Calif., Tony and Henry Freese thought fast when their milk-and-butter truck caught fire, quenched the flames with milk, saved the butter.

Damning Evidence. In Pasadena, Calif., Motorist John Moore, fresh from a hair-raising ride on the cowcatcher of the speedy Santa Fe Chief, clambered down shaky but unhurt to get a ticket for ignoring the grade-crossing stop signal.

No Arms, No Armor. In Southampton, England, Army officials required U.S.-bound war brides to swear that they had no guns or ammunition.

Doctor’s Orders. In London, Mrs. Ethel Roys, told that her house was on fire, shouted that she was under doctor’s orders to stay in bed, followed instructions, died in flames.

See How They Run. In Fitchburg, Mass, three white mice routed a nylon-stocking queue, left three males in line.

Gaudeamus Igitur. In Waldorf, Md., Johannes Perre, 67, declared legally dead in 1931 after seven years’ disappearance, asked the Government for rebirth, added hopefully: “I feel like a young man, even though I am dead.”