THE CONGRESS: The Travelers

Almost as soon as he arrived in London, Oklahoma’s loud-lowing Democratic Senator Elmer Thomas called a press conference. During his six-week, 14-country tour of Europe, he had reprimanded the Swedes for not entertaining him properly, had miffed Belgian reporters by exhibiting (but not opening) ostentatiously displayed bottles of Scotch whisky, and had trampled other European toes by praising Spain’s Franco and calling for rearmament of the Germans.

But the Senator felt pretty good-humored about most of Europe and was willing to say so. “We have been very well received in all but one country,” he announced. “I guess I started a furor in that one country. But I have no apologies to make.” He added proudly: “We have been well received by royalty in Denmark and Sweden.”

“They Do?” As he sat down his aide leaned forward and whispered. The Senator rose again and said, “I meant to say we have been received by the King of Greece, not Sweden. Sweden does not have a King.”

As Senator Thomas sat down again his aide whispered frantically. The Senator broke in hoarsely: “They do?” Then he got up for the third time. “Gentlemen,” he rumbled, “I was wrong. I did not know that Sweden had a King. I have just been informed that they do. But this is secondhand information.”

Last week, as Thomas sailed contentedly back to the good old U.S.A. on the Queen Elizabeth, there could be no doubt that he had given whole nations in Europe a deeper insight into the manners and mental processes of the American legislator.

Though he was perhaps the most spectacular performer of the season, he was not alone. The fall of 1949 produced a full flowering of the congressional junket. With EGA, D.P. camps, trade barriers, military installations and the Folies-Bergere all to be inspected, almost any standing committee could dip into the public purse for foreign travel. A great many did.

In all, more than 100 Congressmen and some 30 Senators went abroad, trailed by almost double that many clerks, aides, wives & children. One group of four went on going right around the world. While most went to Europe, there were also expeditions to the Far East, Guam, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, South and Central America. And five other lawmakers were going to Mexico—to study foot & mouth disease.

Not all joined Thomas in educating the foreign masses in the peculiarities of the American public servant—a good many worked diligently at learning something themselves, thus went practically unnoticed, and in a sense, wasted their personalities during their travels. But the bolder and more extraverted made up for them.

“Perfume Junction.” Only two Congressmen had to be carried off ships in a state of intoxication, only one threw all his luggage out a train window, and only two lost their pants (in a Spanish train), and complained about it publicly.

All in all, Europeans were given ample evidence that the U.S. Congressman is a man who 1) smokes cigars and seems to be searching subconsciously for a cuspidor, 2) is a ferociously accurate judge of whisky, but is incredibly naive about the countries he visits, and 3) emits a regular flow of outrageous quotes aimed at the voter back home.

Furthermore, the invasion from Washington helped keep overseas U.S. officials on their toes. The embassy in Paris had the biggest workout—almost all congressional parties had converged on “Perfume Junction.” The embassy met Congressmen with a car (in the case of one group, five cars were necessary since five senatorial wives were not speaking), convoyed them to a hotel, furnished each of them with a bottle of Scotch, a proposed itinerary and shopping hints, and guided them toward their preference in entertainment.

Last week, as the tired, happy, booty-laden junketers streamed home, many a taxpayer asked petulantly how much it had all cost. But that was a question no Congressman would answer in dollars & cents unless he were given the water cure, minced with red-hot knives and buried to the ears in an ant hill. It was the kind of thing which might prejudice the voter, and as Minnesota’s Congressman John A. Blatnik (recently returned from studying embassies) said last week: “. . . The more Congressmen who visit foreign lands the better.”