Miscellany, Aug. 18, 1947

Midsummer Night’s Dream. In Tomahawk, Wis., May June, daughter of Mr. & Mrs. John July, was married to Mr. & Mrs. August Welke’s son Frank.

Fowl Deeds. In Center Groton, Conn., 74-year-old Mrs. John Yetter surprised a fox in her chicken coop, doughtily grabbed it by the tail, gave it a whirl, bashed its head against the ground. In Willington, Conn., Mary Cski, 75, heard a commotion among her hens, hustled down, caught a marauding 8-lb. chicken hawk with her bare hands.

Army Life. In Joppa, Md., in a $100,000 suit against the Government, Arthur K. Jefferson explained that he was operated on while in the Army, never quite recovered even after doctors operated a second time and removed from his abdomen a hand towel marked “U.S. Medical Department.”

Inflation. In Evanston, Ill., Northwestern University chemists announced that the value of the basic chemical elements in the human body, once estimated at 98¢, has soared to $31.04.

Aftereffect. In Oakland, Calif., motorist James Wallace swerved to avoid one auto, sideswiped another, crashed through a heavy guard rail, careened down a 200-ft. embankment, landed in a tree, still unhurt climbed out and surveyed the damage, was conked on the head and knocked out by a falling boulder.

Jailbait. In Philadelphia, sirens wailed and searchlights glared across Eastern State Penitentiary’s front lawn as well-armed cops cautiously approached a man who was quite obviously excavating a tunnel into the prison. Things quieted down when the suspect turned out to be digging worms.

Surprise! In Albuquerque, N.M., Mrs. William Clayton started to water her flower bed with the garden hose, dropped the thing in a hurry when it turned out to be a sleepy rattlesnake.

His Mark. In Milwaukee, Valenty Pietrowski got a 60-day sentence after admitting finding a $40 check on the street, cashing it at a bar with an endorsement of three carefully drawn Xs.

Evasive Action. Near Centerville, Va., seven days after a member of a road gang stepped on a hornets’ nest and the whole gang scattered for cover, cops were still looking for one who scattered out of sight.

Concession. In Detroit, William H. van Aspern, 73, and Ellen Anderson O’Brien Jones Davis, 94, got “sick & tired” of neighbors’ gossip, finally decided to get married after living together 17 years.