Miscellany, Feb. 25, 1946

After Due Reflection. In Panama City, Fla., M. H. Pitts put a mirror in front of his solitary pig, happily watched it eat like a hog to keep up with its double.

Hearing Aid. In Fayette, Wis., the telephone company junked the dial system, went back to party lines. Reason: overwhelming insistence from listeners-in.

Penned In. In Los Angeles, Shopkeeper Dorothy Savey, whose home had just been burgled, called the cops when Customer Essie Flaugher handed her a fountain pen, asked her to file off the name: Dorothy Savey.

For Pounds & Dozens. In Bennington, Vt., butter-&-eggless Evening Banner Editor Paul Howe headlined a new policy: subscriptions payable in butter & eggs.

Good to the Last Drop. In San Francisco, Sherwood Unkefer, sore at losing $475 in a holdup, charged after the fleeing bandit, who held him up again, took a $2,200 ring.

Strife Begins with 90. In Long Island City, irate Fishmonger Michael Stringnano tried to throttle a housewife when she paid 90 pennies for a 90¢ fish, meekly confessed: “I must have lost my head.”

Budget for Oblivion. In Seattle, Sailor Oluf Lystad, found dead in a gas-filled room, left $20 to pay for the gas.

. . . Wilt Thou Be Mine? In Atlanta, Philip Dobson sued E. W. Sills for $50,000. The charge: Sills alienated Mrs. Dobson’s affections by promising her “A gold house and a platinum sidewalk.”

De Mortuis. . . In Manila, Judge de la Rosa played it safe, gave a six-month sentence to slippery Bank Robber Antonio San Juan, dead a month.

Unimpeachable Source. In San Diego, a woman told police to look again; her missing nephew must be at the address she gave them. The Ouija board said so.

Sheer Luck. In Cambridge, Mass., Salesgirl Mary Flaherty politely said there were no nylons, stood speechless when a customer gave her a pair “because of the polite way you always turned me down.”

Top Secret. In New London, Conn., a woman shopper unwittingly uttered the code word “Uranium,” was handed butter by a furtive grocery clerk, was too flabbergasted to accept it.

Distress Sale. In Nice, France, where condemned men pay for their traditional, hearty last supper, condemned but broke Collaborationist Eugéne de Balinfly raised cash for his by having four teeth yanked, selling the gold crowns.