TEXAS: No Separate Peace

Nothing fascinates a Texan so much as 1) Texas; 2) another Texan. Thus, when news reached Austin a fortnight ago that the “Shooting Bull Detachment” of the “Texas Expeditionary Force” (both dreamed up by bored Texas flyers in Manila) had named Lone Star Governor Coke Stevenson CINCTEF, the homefolks called the whole thing mighty rich.

Governor Stevenson, who once promised the U.S. that Texas would make no separate peace, promptly informed the Shooting Bulls that as soon as the Army had the Far Eastern situation in hand, he would send the Texas Navy to fetch them home.

The idea tickled Texans. But they were also unhappily reminded that the Texas Navy (Honorary Commander: Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, of Fredericksburg, Texas) has no ships at the moment.

The state has long tried to buy the tired-out battleship Texas, which it wants to moor in the San Jacinto River as a battle memorial. But negotiations have been held up for lack of money for a mooring. Half seriously, last week, the Lone Stars were suggesting that every Texan in service be fined $1 for bragging about Texas. Thus, they figured offhand, a million dollars could be raised.*

*The figure is a little generous. At last count, 585,936 Texans had served the nation in World War II. Texas’ population: not quite 7,000,000.