Radio: Barrymore for Barrymore

When John Barrymore lay ill of laryngitis last week, Dick Mack, writer-producer of the Rudy Vallee show on which John is stooge extraordinary, called him up to say that he, Mack, had gone through John’s part in rehearsal. “My God,” replied the Great Profile in clear, unlaryngetic tones, “a cold sweat comes over me. I’ll be there tomorrow night.” Next noon, however, John passed out as he was trying to dress, went to Hollywood Hospital instead.

Five months ago in similar circumstances Orson Welles did a bad imitation of the majestic Barrymore tremolo and snorts. This time Mack called for another Barrymore. From the ‘M.G.M. lot came Brother Lionel in time for a quick run-through with the cast. As the show opened, Vallee announced: “Tonight . . . Lionel Barrymore is John Barrymore. Greetings, Lionel.” Cadenced Brother Barrymore in reply: “Just call me John, Rudy.”

That was Lionel’s best line. He held up the show so much, even with cuts, that it was clipped off the air prematurely. When it was over, critics guessed that if Lionel couldn’t do it, no one could. Said Lionel: “I’ve heard him make those damn noises all my life, but I’ve never been able to figure out how the hell he does it.”