Miscellany, Dec. 23, 1946

Planned Economy. In Pittsburgh, police nabbed Clara Habig, found that her knitting bag, crammed with jewelry, also contained a neatly typewritten Christmas shoplifting list.

Cross-Country. From New Haven, Conn., Samuel Michatto, 86, set out for his home in Monroe, La., hitched a ride, found himself in Monroe, Ark., took off again, landed next in Monroe, N.C.

Exit Laughing. In Chile Island, Chile, Narcisco Quezada and Friend Violeta Munoz confessed that they had tied Violeta’s husband to a table, tickled his feet until he choked to death with laughter.

Voice Change. In Knoxville, doctors X-rayed four-year-old Phyllis Dean’s throat, spotted the nickel she had swallowed, operated, pulled out 15¢.

Consumer’s Research. In Clifton, N.J., Roland Michaud, 2½, discovered the family medicine chest, ate 32 aspirin tablets, drank a bottle of cough medicine, huge doses of castor oil and cod liver oil, had his stomach pumped out, felt fine.

Sign Language. In Cleveland, sign painter George Spence sued for divorce, complained that his wife had not spoken to him for two years, communicated with him by putting signs up all over the house. Samples: “Hands off, I paid for this.” “You’re Hitler No. 2.”

No Account. In Calgary, Alberta, steam-shovel operator Harry Gallelli, excavating a basement, uncovered a cache of several hundred U.S. silver dollars and 50^ pieces, rushed happily to a bank, learned they were all counterfeit.

Holiday Business. In Detroit, 225-pound union President Herbert Thompson, with an eye to rising food costs, set forth the new wage demands of the Santa Claus Union (C.I.O.), explained: “They like us chubby, and we have to eat to stay this way.” In Richmond, Ind., Santa Claus Clifford Oldham, after listening to two-year-old Patty Pike’s Christmas wishes, handed her an apple, got it right back. Said Patty: “Peel it.” In Newark, Santa Claus Herman Quaas was haled into court. The charge: refusal to take the city’s health test for all Santa Clauses.

Triple Alliance. In Hollsopple, Pa., Mildred Holsopple married Harley Holsopple, announced that they would live in Hollsopple ever after.

Going My Way. In Goldthorpe, South Yorkshire, England, coal miner Charles Carter plunged 775 feet down a mine elevator shaft, landed on a descending cage, got off at the bottom of the shaft with only a broken leg.