Miscellany, Jun. 10, 1946

Of Men & Mice. In Albuquerque, N. Mex., Willie Salas casually pocketed a three-foot bullsnake which was sunning itself on the running board of a parked car, announced to popeyed spectators: “I’ve got mice in my cellar.”

Nary a Hitch. In Seattle, C. W. Johnson made thorough preparation for a motor trip, rigged two lifelike dummies in his car to discourage hitchhikers.

Occupational Hazard. In Manhattan. ex-Con John Boulter, picked up for carrying a gun, explained that the crime wave had him worried.

Prognosis. In Brooklyn, an anxious patient, sweating out an approaching operation at Beth David Hospital, got a card entitling him to first choice of lots in the Beth David Cemetery.

Time to Go. In Guelph, Ont., Barber Fred Christiansen toyed with the idea of pulling out, made up his mind to get going when a young man came in and asked for a permanent.

Eager Beaver. In Granville, Wis., the town’s only paid fireman, Calvin Shult. confessed to 100 false alarms, explained that he wanted to promote enough business to justify a pay raise.

Stiff Proposition. In Rio de Janeiro, striking medical students picketed their school with a sign reading: “We want more bodies.”

Maternity Leave. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Dorothy Hodel, writer of children’s books, drew 90 days for neglecting her children.

Blithe Spirits. In Niagara Falls, Ont.. a plaintive ad ran in the Review: “Wanted to rent—a haunted house or apartment, by a young couple who are just ghosts of their former selves.”

Hare of the Dog. In Auburn, N.Y.. 1,200 baseball fans sat goggle-eyed while a rabbit chased a beagle across the diamond.

Number Please. In Wichita, Kans.. Ernie Tajchman telephoned invitations to a long list of Wichitans, on one number always got a busy signal, discovered after 20 minutes that it was his own.

Not for Export. In Albuquerque, N. Mex., Isadore F. Gallegos got his check back, uncashed, from a Maine shoe manufacturer, who explained: “… We have discontinued all business outside the U.S.”

Christian Front. In Portland, Ore., Ansell Durell admitted plundering $1,000 from the Christmas mails, gave Judge McColloch his reason: he needed money to pursue his studies for the ministry.