Miscellany, Feb. 18, 1946

Submarine Raider. Off New Brunswick, a whale surfaced alongside the steamship Keith Cann, hosed openmouthed passengers, submerged.

The Women. In Camden, N.J., Mrs. Lillian Kerney went to court, got her divorce. Grounds: her husband made her duck under the dashboard when he drove past a girl friend.

Boner. In Salt Lake City, Utah University Student Donald Williams’ pup followed him to school one day, was found by aghast professors asleep outside the geology department, blissfully nuzzling a rare, well-gnawed, prehistoric bone from the university’s much-prized collection.

Parking Problem. In Anniston, Ala., J. E. Moose put together plastic, nonstick chewing gum.

P.U.ddinhead, Painter. In Fort Des Moines, Iowa, Father Urbanski spelled— but did not think to pronounce—the words for the painter, got this sign: C. A. Tholic, Chaplain.

Lochinvar Foiled. Near Bogota, Colombia, down came a young man’s airplane, out ran the rancher’s daughter. Up from a clump of bushes rose Rancher Jose Pastarana, lassoed his eloping daughter. Away flew the young man.

Peacemeal. In Yorkton, Sask., a restaurant proudly proclaimed peace & plenty: “We are now making 300 sandwiches from a pound of cheese instead of the former 500 per pound.”

Strange Fruit. In Lindsborg, Kansas, Anna Dahlsten’s “geranium” plant bore two whopping tomatoes.

Happy Landing. In Los Angeles, 19-month-old Wayne Polette fell from a second-story window, landed on his head, got slightly bruised.

Early Buzzards. In Norwood, Ohio, within 24 hours after Lee Dunn Jr. confessed to strangling his wife, police got five phone inquiries about renting the strangler’s house.

H 2 Overpowered. In Kimama, Idaho, a tank containing 5,000 gallons of water burned down.

Wedding March. In St. Louis, Bridesmaid Josephine Bobak fainted, whereupon Groom Nicholas Bobak fainted, Bride Helen Wolken fainted, Father Wempe called a recess.

Good Ground. In Burlington, Iowa, a renovated bathroom’s walls and ceiling luxuriantly sprouted wheat. The cause: wheat grain had got mixed up in the plaster.