Foreign News: Druidical Sacrilege

Jealously guarded by His Majesty’s Office of Works is an undated agglomeration of huge monoliths standing in two great concentric circles, two horseshoes and other scattered positions on a rolling hilltop in Salisbury Plain. Until 1915 Stonehenge was privately owned and considered of only tolerably public interest. Then it was presented to the nation and suddenly became an important ruin. Archeologists quarreled over whether Stonehenge was once a druidical temple, a Saxon sepulchre or a sun temple, whether it was early Bronze Age or earlier Neolithic. Meanwhile, rows of teashops, bungalows, airdromes sprang up nearby. Ten years ago these were ordered razed within a mile radius of Stonehenge.

Two months ago, after a rowdy guest night at nearby Larkhill Artillery School, four 20-year-old second lieutenants were seized with an inspiration to improve on antiquity. Next morning, for the first time in 1,000 years, the rays of the rising sun discovered a new glory in Stonehenge. A glistening coat of green paint instead of dull lichens covered ancient dolmens. Atop great menhirs sat shining chamber pots.

Said the prosecutor in Salisbury County police court last week: “It may take 1,000 years for Stonehenge to regain its old weathered appearance.” Said the court: $5 fine for each culprit, costs of trial and repairs, total $95. Said the commander at Larkhill, keeping a straight face: official reprimand.