Radio: Past Indicative

In his column (Pitching Horseshoes) one day last week, Showman Billy Rose had “a bone to pick with our top radio comedians.” Said Rose:

“The boys are trying too hard. . . . For a change, I’d like to hear some programs that go in for horse sense rather than strained nonsense. … If any of the comedians needs convincing I’d suggest [he] dig up the writings of ‘Kin’ Hubbard, the oldtime [Indianapolis News] columnist, [who] said almost 40 years ago: ¶ ‘The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.’

¶ ‘Some folks get what’s coming to them by waiting, others while crossing the street.’

¶ Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.’

¶ Florida’s all right if you can keep from catching a sailfish and going to the expense of having it mounted.’

“These lines . . . stand up after all these years because they’re about something, not Crosby’s horses, Sinatra’s blood count, or Benny’s toupee. What do you think the radio scripts of today will sound like in 1975? Or had we better not go into that?”