Miscellany, Oct. 1, 1945

Fish Story. In Hamilton, Ontario, frustrated Fisherman Murray Henry shipped his oars to have a smoke, promptly had the cigaret knocked out of his mouth by a 4½-lb. black bass which jumped into the boat.

Running Water? In Chicago, Mrs. Wilson Smith decided that it would save time to be frank about her vacant apartment, advertised: “Dark, dirty four-room apartment. . . Shabby furn.” Short Spin.

In Boston, a blind war veteran, guided by a paralyzed companion, drove a rented automobile three miles through heavy traffic before crashing into a tree.

Tomato Surprise. In Newark, an alarmed inmate of the Ivy Hills Alms House summoned four fire engines, a res cue squad, and two hook-&-ladder trucks to a sunny field blazing with ripe, red tomatoes.

Fire Sale. In Indianapolis, Clarence Fetzer bought a 49¢ packing crate at a surplus-property sale, found an incendiary bomb inside.

Auto Suggestion. In Manhattan, three well-worn police patrol wagons — known in the trade as “pie wagons” — were sold for pie wagons.

Man & Mouse. In Salina, Kans., Lieut. Robert V. Krengle sued a bottling plant for $10,000, charged that a mouse in his nearly finished bottle of “coke” had permanently spoiled his appetite for soft drinks.

Equipped for Action. In Brigham City, Utah, Joseph Miller exchanged his first set of artificial limbs for a longer pair when he met a tall blonde, bought a short set for better balance when skiing.

Sailor’s Delight. In Seattle, a sailor was fished out of the harbor by shore patrolmen; a woman passerby had started to rescue him but let him slip back into the water when she saw that he had no pants.

Fore! In McKeesport, Pa., Golfer Harry Pfaff teed off on No. 13, made a hole-in-one — on No. 12.

Hold Fire. In Jacksonville, Ill., firemen responding to an alarm at the Wabash railway station had to wait ten minutes for the fire to arrive — in a baggage car.

Evasion Money. In Pittsburgh, Charles Williams paid for a cup of coffee with a Japanese 10-peso (Philippines-issue) note, was grabbed as he scrammed with $9.95 in change.