Foreign News: Hairs Numbered

A G.I. and a Fraulein got to talking in Heidelberg’s railway station (she was 17 and pretty, and the non-fraternization rule had just been modified). Suddenly a German ex-soldier whipped out a pair of scissors, started to cut off the girl’s hair. MPs rescued her and arrested the defender of German honor. Next day a U.S. judge pronounced sentence:

“Americans believe that every individual has the right to associate with whom he or she chooses. By terrorizing this girl, you were trying to take away this right. Had you succeeded, she would have lost all her hair. I have asked several girls how long it would take them to grow back their hair, if their heads were shaved. Their answers averaged out to nine months. You are sentenced to nine months in jail.”