Miscellany, Aug. 12, 1935

Preparation

In Oklahoma City, the handy Brothers C. W. and J. W. Rollison. septuagenarian realtors with time on their hands, took a week off to build their own coffins, complete with satin pillow headrests.

Macaroni

In Chicago, at the Illinois Macaroni Manufacturers’ Association meeting, Frank Traficanti presented figures showing that U. S. macaroni made in 1934, placed end to end, would girdle the Earth 11,046,700 times.

Hansi

In Vienna, Suicide Emma Albrecht, 47, spinster, left a note: ‘T could not go on living after the unfaithfulness of my beloved canary, Hansi, who for six years had been my sole companion.” Hansi had flown away.

Mourner

In Chicago, police had 50 complaints against Carl (“Red”) Burke who goes to strangers’ funerals, sobs religiously, wanders into the bedroom, throws all valuables in sight out the window, wanders out the door, collects the valuables, goes away.

Mystery

In Detroit, after he had lost $2,000 in Government bonds at a revival service, the Rev. William H. Grain said. “I can’t understand it. I had them tucked away in my sock, with the bottom of my long underwear pulled down tight over the sock. Mind you, though, I don’t suspect any of the brethren.”