Miscellany, Apr. 13, 1942

Tires. In Minneapolis, Allen Daugherty’s automobile dragged his wife 60 feet after she jumped from it during an argument. His excuse: “I didn’t want to stop fast and wear out my tires.” In Spokane, undertakers were relieved to learn that tire-rationing boards had stopped classifying hearses as “pleasure cars.”

Dilemma. In Alameda, Calif., the parents of newly-born Linda Johnson wondered whether to register the birth in Alameda or Contra Costa County. The baby was born on the way to the hospital, in a tunnel under the county line.

Inc. In Oklahoma City, W. H. Van Demeer prepared for Army life by incorporating himself, appointed six vice presidents, all female, instructed each one in her duty. The first is to send him fried chicken; the second, chocolate cake; the third, angel-food cake and cookies; the fourth, socks and mufflers; the fifth, sweaters; the sixth, magazines.

Finding. In Chicago, two members of the University of Chicago faculty completed a survey, declared there was no reason why a business woman couldn’t be highly intelligent and at the same time happily married.

Animal Kingdom. In Morristown, N.J., a court awarded Frederick and Evelyn Smith $3,792 for damage done to their house. Damagers: a tenant’s 200 dogs. In San Diego the Charles E. Smiths heard a scratching at their trailer door, opened it, found the cat they had left two months before in Buffalo.

Twins. In Cambridge, Minn., Edgar Wilson paid a visit to the home of his twin brother Edward, dropped dead. Five minutes later Edward dropped dead.

Case Adjourned. In a Shreveport, La. courtroom a hearing was quickly postponed when a witness wearing a head bandage was asked what his trouble was. His trouble: mumps.

Obstacles. In Parsons, Kans., a train pulled in an hour late because: in San Marcos, Tex., the conductor had dropped dead; outside of San Marcos, the train had struck an automobile and killed three people; further along a passenger had given birth to a baby.

Dancers. In London, Parliament came to the conclusion that men ballet dancers were not engaged in work of national importance, decided to draft them.

Repentant. In Seattle, police received $2 from a follower of Father Divine who wrote that she repented having talked a cop out of a parking ticket. She signed herself “Beautiful Lily.”