Miscellany, Apr. 5, 1937

It

In Tulsa, Okla., haled into court. Tom Bailey told Police Judge A. A. Hatch that he did not know whether or not he was intoxicated when picked up by police. Asked Judge Hatch: “Did everything sort of wave up and down? . . . Did you feel mighty happy and grand, and love every one in the whole world? And did you also feel like you could whip the pants off any mother’s son alive?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” replied Tom Bailey.

Same

In New Britain, Conn., John Conlon, 77, and John Conlin, 77, died the same day, were buried the same day by the same undertaker in the same cemetery following funeral services at St. Mary’s Church where they both used to take up the collection.

Search

In Chicago, Midwest Hotel Show officials confessed they had been unable to pick a suitable substitute name for hors d’oeumes from 988 words submitted in a contest, such as “cavanchocees,” “exdiores.” Proclaimed Hotelman William M. Dewey, appointing a new committee to continue the search for a synonym: “This is a very, very serious thing we are undertaking.”

Words

In Los Angeles, Mr. & Mrs. Jack Ewins announced the birth of a daughter—”Another Social Security Prospect (Class of 2002 A.D.)”—on printed postcards which recorded:

“Name: Elizabeth Theresa Ewins. . . .

“Weight: 7 Ibs. 6 oz. . . .

“First Words: ‘Don’t Let Roosevelt Pack the Supreme Court.’ ”

Novel

In Los Angeles, Ernest Vincent Wright, 66, finished a 50,110-word novel, Gadsby —Champion of Youth, without once using the letter E.

Idea

In Saint Cloud, Minn., after two horses had exhausted themselves dragging the 2,500-ton granite postoffice to its new location, Supervisor E. W. LaPlante recruited a dozen brawny girls to haul it the last block. “The idea is,” said he, “to prove that the task is not a matter of strength, but rather the mastery of power.”

Marmaduke

In Duston, England, Marmaduke Harrison, 82, died after breaking a thigh in trying to put both feet in the same trouser leg.