Miscellany: Jun. 23, 1930

“Summer Wife”

TIME, Inc. received, and rejected as an advertisement, the following want notice:

Summer Wife. Wanted: pleasant, decorous, middle-aged matron to manage my six-room apartment in Manhattan and comfort me June 15 to Sept. 30, while my wife is away on her needless summer vacation. Children no objections. Businessman (address deleted).

Judge

At Middletown, N. Y., Justice Joseph Morschauser of the New York Supreme Court refused to accept the guilty plea of Milton Young, 16, for stealing a motor car. Advised Justice Morschauser: “I won’t make a thief of you. I want you to promise to return to high school and to graduate two years from this June. If you are ever tempted to get in trouble again, I want you to think of the fat-faced man on the bench who has a reformatory term waiting for you.”

Gizzard

At Salina, Kan., Mrs. Bert Phelps prepared a Gore County chicken for cooking. Frugally, as well as to give Mr. Phelps a giblet he likes, she split the hen’s gizzard, peeled out the musk. In the olive green debris were flecks of metallic yellow. A jeweler found them, gold, worth $54.

Firemen

At Millstadt, Ill., Chief B. D. Hirsch of the Volunteer Fire Department issued, for the second year, this order: “Members of the Millstadt Volunteer Fire Department will answer all alarms clad in their pajamas. The style of these garments will be left to the individual tastes of the various fire fighters with my recommendation for the selection of very gaudy colors, which will make identification simple even in the densest smoke.”

Calf

At McLean, Va., Col. Herbert David pastured a valuable prize calf on his front lawn. A thief carried the calf away in the rumble seat of a motor car, sold it to a slaughter house for $12. Col. David found and bought it back in the nick of time.

Eagle

At Savannah, Ga., a bald eagle perched and rode along in the rumble seat of Judge Henry Mathews’ motor car. He captured it with a blanket.

Pellet

In Baltimore, George Boone found a pellet on the sidewalk. He handed it to his father, Charles Boone, 57, with whom he was strolling. Mr. Boone thought it was candy, put it in his mouth, sucked, chewed. The pellet exploded. It was a Fourth of July torpedo.

Scared

At Midland, Ont., a gasoline explosion set afire the clothing of Orton Crawford, 17. Rescuers tried to beat out the flames but he, scared, ran for home, outdistanced them, died six hours later.

Brokenheart

At Atlanta five years ago Glenn Karmer, Negro, changed his name to Glenn Brokenheart, after surgeons had mended a gunshot wound in his heart. The other day Glenn Brokenheart was again shot through the heart, irreparably.

Broken-Hearted

In Brooklyn, Fred Doboriewitz, 24, dry cleaner, left his open ammonia cleaning tank to telephone his sweetheart for forgiveness of a quarrel. She was unrelentant. He shuffled broken-hearted back to his ammonia tank to weep against its edge. The fumes asphyxiated him.

Burial

At Lebanon, Ind., 24 years ago Joseph A. Sandlin decided on precisely how he wanted his funeral conducted. He assembled his tribe (lodge) of Red Men, lay down in his coffin to show how his body was to be placed. Photographs were made of each stage. The other day four old, rehearsed pallbearers studied the old pictures, buried provident Mr. Sandlin, 90, precisely, definitively.

Bundle

In a Santa Barbara (Calif.) hotel a maid threw a bundle of Mrs. John McGill’s dirty linen down a laundry chute to the basement four stories below. The bundle contained Mrs. McGill’s infant, eight months old, who was unharmed.

Fox Terrier

At Clermont-Ferrand, France, a fox terrier dragged a brown paper bag to a policeman’s feet. Stooping to pat the dog, the policeman looked into the bag, found a newborn baby.