Analyze This

When Madeleine Albright was holding down the camp at the Middle East peace talks, her chums at the G-8 summit sent her a signed “You-go-girl” fax. The talks came to naught, but we can gain valuable insight from an analysis of the leaders’ handwriting provided by Sheila Lowe, author of the classic Complete Idiot’s Guide to Handwriting Analysis:

1 BILL CLINTON: The writing is rounded, showing his congenial nature. There is also self-protectiveness seen in his left slant. Especially interesting are the lower loops, which in earlier writing samples were angular. Angular lower loops suggest some hidden aggression toward women.

2 JEAN CHRETIEN: The signature is more forceful than the rest of the writing, which suggests that although he presents himself well, he is probably more comfortable out of the spotlight.

3 YOSHIRO MORI: Large and bold writing, indicating one who stands up for what he believes in. The thick, dark strokes reveal someone who enjoys attention.

4 VLADIMIR PUTIN: His signature is illegible, which shows a very private side. This is someone who is tense, ready to act at a moment’s notice.

5 TONY BLAIR: His simplified handwriting (no extra strokes) shows a facile mind and excellent social skills. He has a high degree of intellectual and verbal acuity and a good sense of humor.

6 JACQUES CHIRAC: Since he prints out his name underneath an illegible signature, he wants us to know who he is without really knowing who he is.

7 GERHARD SCHRODER: Another illegible signature–a highly sophisticated intellect, which can make it hard to know what he’s thinking.

8 GIULIANO AMATO: He thinks almost faster than he can write and doesn’t suffer fools gladly. He prefers keeping his options open to making a commitment.