Lillehammer Babylon an Opinionated Winter Olympics Roundup

Most Suspicious Illness: Asthma, due to the unprecedented stampede for inhalers and antiasthma prescription drugs (asthma medication is believed to increase the lungs’ capacity to take in oxygen).

Biggest Choke: Japanese ski jumper Masahiko Harada, who took a lead of 55.1 points into the team final; he followed with the worst jump by any member of the top eight teams, handing the gold to the Germans.

Most Demeaning Performance by a Journalist (Not Including Rather-Chung Promos): CBS’s Al Trautwig, to Italian cross-country skier Manuela di Centa after her victory in the 15-km race: “Was it the skis, the wax or your heart?”

Most Embarrassing Reason for Not Competing: U.S. Nordic-combined skier Tim Tetreault slipped on ice while running to catch a bus, breaking his leg.

Most Popular Composer in the Rink: Not Tchaikovsky, for all the feathers on Oksana Baiul’s swan suit. Two of the top four dance couples tripped the ice fantastic to the music of Italian film composer Nino Rota, and Frenchman Philippe Candeloro, who won a bronze, skated to Rota’s score for The Godfather.

Camera Angle Most Reminiscent of an N.Y.U. Student Film: CBS’s shot from inside U.S. bobsled driver Brian Shimer’s sled. The view: the inside of the sled and Shimer’s legs.

Hottest Sibling Rivalry: Italy’s Huber brothers. Wilfried and Norbert won gold and silver, respectively, in the doubles luge, while Gunther won a bronze in the two-man bobsled. Arnold was fourth in the singles luge.

Most Curious Display of Commercialism: The Swiss Alpine ski team’s uniforms, which were patterned with holes to look like Swiss cheese.

Least Troubling Display of Ethnic Rivalry: This headline in a Norwegian daily: NORWAY LEADS ((IN MEDALS)); SWEDES TIED WITH FIJI.

Proofreader’s Worst Nightmare: Finnish cross-country skier Tuulikki Pyykkoenen.

Not That I’m Bitter, But … : Believing the medal ceremony was delayed as Oksana Baiul touched up her makeup, Nancy Kerrigan said: “Oh, come on. So she’s going to get out here and cry again. What’s the difference?” The delay was caused by a search for a copy of Ukraine’s anthem.

And You Thought Figure Skating Was a Hostile Sport: Believing gold medalist Cathy Turner of the U.S. had knocked her off balance in the 500-m short-track speed-skating final, Chinese silver medalist Zhang Yanmei refused to pose with Turner at the podium and flung her bouquet to the ground. As China lodged a protest, Canadian Nathalie Lambert sympathized, calling Cathy Turner “the dirtiest skater.” On Saturday, Turner was disqualified from the 1,000-m for illegally cutting off another competitor. Said Turner: “The judges were just waiting for me.”