SHOCKING
M.I.A.’S BABY to present an award at the Oscars, at this rate
TICKETMASTER and LIVE NATION to merge; concertgoers prepare for $75 surcharges
JUDE LAW makes kind of a hot chick
Rumor: OCTOMOM had plastic surgery to look more like Angelina Jolie. Truth: that is Angelina Jolie
KATHIE LEE GIFFORD and HODA KOTB’S 10 a.m. happy hour
SARAH PALIN says she named daughter Bristol after ESPN’s Connecticut HQ. Good thing the network canceled that move to Sheboygan
KATIE COURIC tee-hees her way through Lil Wayne interview
PREDICTABLE
DANCING WITH THE STARS, Season 8: An Olympic gymnast, three crooks and Denise Richards walk into a reality show …
STEVEN SPIELBERG nails down Disney distribution deal. Now maybe someone will finally watch his movies
New KINDLE launched; newspapers bemoan lack of fish-wrapping functionality
ETTA JAMES takes back Beyoncé ass-whupping threat
MR. MARIAH CAREY to host America’s Got Talent
ORIGINAL VILLAGE PEOPLE COP sues latest version of the Village People
SEX AND THE CITY sequel. Please tell us somebody gets Madoffed
JOAQUIN PHOENIX explains new hobo look as attempt to eliminate his “sex appeal” by growing beard, making fatuous comments
Gurkha Cigars offers MICHAEL PHELPS $25,000 to be official “smokesperson”
SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE
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