Battle of the Fake Bands

In the beginning–that is, November 2005–there was a video game called Guitar Hero, in which players jammed on a fake plastic guitar along with real rock songs. And it was good. But not good enough. A year ago, the rival Rock Band added drums, bass and vocals. Now there are two improved versions that feature the full instrumental lineup: Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero World Tour.

These games are hands down the two best party games ever made. Both cost about $190 and are available for all the major game consoles. The only problem with them is that it’s practically impossible to figure out which one to buy. But we are about to solve that problem for you. We are the Recessionists. (See the 50 best inventions of 2008.)

That’s the name–ripped from the headlines!–of the virtual band I formed with three other TIME staffers, whom I will not name because, unlike me, some of them are still hoping for a career in management. We spent a hard day’s night pitting Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero World Tour against each other in a titanic battle of the fake-band video games. We came to play, and we brought a lot of beer and some tequila, if it came to that. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that. (See the video)

You don’t need musical talent to play these games. What you need is a weird combination of vanity and lack thereof: vanity in that you have to really believe, somewhere in your lizard brain, that you are a rock star; lack of vanity in that your human brain still knows you look like an idiot. But when it works, you experience music in a completely new way. Never before have I actually enjoyed Megadeth. Conversely, never before have I hated Dylan’s “Tangled Up in Blue.” But it’s really long, and the drum part is really boring.

So which game is better? We preferred, slightly, the instruments that came with Guitar Hero. The pint-size guitars feel realer and more substantial, and the toy drum set comes with a pair of fake cymbals that make pounding it that much more satisfying. But–and it’s a big one–the Recessionists vastly, overwhelmingly preferred the way Rock Band looked onscreen. While you’re playing the game, you’re watching notes stream toward you–plus lyrics if you’re the singer–and at the same time, you’re checking how well you and your bandmates are doing. That’s a lot of information to monitor, and it has to be displayed absolutely clearly and cleanly for the game to work. With Guitar Hero, we spent too much time having no idea who was screwing up my glorious rendition of Blondie’s “One Way or Another” (it was probably me). That might be what rock stars really feel like a lot of the time. But it’s not much fun in a video game.

One last note: the two games have different song lists, so go online to make sure the one you buy has the music you like. That’s as important as anything else. If you’re still not sure, you can always buy both. But if you have that much money to spend on video games, you’re probably a rock star already.

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