People: Oct. 30, 2006

THE LONG AND WOUNDING ROAD

There are big guns in this divorce battle–PAUL MCCARTNEY has hired Prince Charles’ old attorney and HEATHER MILLS MCCARTNEY Lady Di’s–but someone misfired last week. Leaked court documents allege that Sir Paul had, among other mean and nasty things, refused to let his wife use a bedpan and stabbed her with a broken glass. He’s waiting until trial to address the allegations, and her reps won’t comment on who leaked them, but their disclosure means she’ll have less bargaining power come settlement time. Coincidentally, since Sir Paul just applied to trademark his name for use on scads of products from vegetarian food to panty hose, he might want to consider McCartneyâ„¢ gag orders.

STANDING BY HER MAN, FOR NOW …

Grammy winner KEITH URBAN checked into rehab for alcohol abuse last week with wife NICOLE KIDMAN by his side. Her presence is noteworthy because in the run-up to the megacouple’s wedding in June, there was much speculation about whether they had signed a prenuptial agreement specifying that Urban–an admitted cocaine user who went into rehab in 1998–would get nada if he fell off the wagon. “One can never let one’s guard down on recovery, and I’m afraid that I have,” the country singer said in a written statement last week. “I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole.” He also postponed promoting his new album, which will be released next month. Among its song titles: Won’t Let You Down and I Told You So.

Q&A JEAN RENO

When you were making this movie, with its mime jokes and cracks about the French being quick to surrender and taking five hours to eat dinner, did you ever feel like a traitor?

No, why? Traitor to whom?

To France.

No, no, no, this is humor.

Do you ever wear a trench coat like Le Frog’s?

No, I’m too tall for that. If I did, I’d look like Yves Montand.

You’ve been in comedies and action films. Which do you prefer?

Comedies. But also it depends on the moment in your life because sometimes you want to do romantic comedies and sometimes you want things tough because you need it for you. Flushed Away was very difficult to create a character only through the voice. You have to be very sincere. Otherwise, it looks awkward.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad was Steve Martin’s French accent in The Pink Panther?

It was part of his character more than a very specific accent because–in fact–who cares? If you believe in him and you laugh, that’s the goal.

I thought your Captain Bezu Fache was one of the few bright spots in The Da Vinci Code. Were you as bored as I was watching it?

No, because I found the movie very good. I am proud of that movie. Ron Howard did a very good job.

Your parents are Spanish, and you grew up in Morocco, so how did you become Hollywood’s favorite Frenchman?

I don’t know. You should ask the Americans. I think maybe because I’m an honest actor.

Has Gérard Depardieu called to ask why you keep getting all the roles?

No, between actors, we talk about families and food and wine rather than the business.

Is it true you turned down the role of Agent Smith in The Matrix to be in Godzilla?

I don’t like to speak about negative things.

So no talk of regret?

No, no, no. [Laughs] You know, destiny is destiny.

SCREEN TEST

O.K., break out your No. 2 pencils. It’s time to assess your celebrity intelligence quotient with this week’s assorted Tinseltown trivia:

1) Wesley Snipes, who is on location in Namibia, is wanted by the IRS for:

A) Claiming on his tax return that white men can, in fact, jump

B) Trying to get a refund for everyone who bought a ticket to see Blade: Trinity

C) Not filing a return for several years

D) Going to Namibia for reasons other than having or adopting a baby

2) After he won Project Runway, the tattooed, acid-tongued Jeffrey Sebelia said:

A) Of the designer’s $100,000 prize–“Now I can afford to take my kid to SeaWorld”

B) Of the new Saturn he was also given–“Well, that doesn’t suck”

C) Of his many detractors–“If you have 10 haters, work on getting 12”

D) All of the above

3) Vince Vaughn threatened to sue all the tabloids that ran stories claiming that he and former Friends star Jennifer Aniston:

A) Were broke

B) Broke up

C) Broke Oprah’s couch

D) Entered their romantic comedy The Break-Up in a documentary film festival

ANSWERS: 1) C; 2) D; 3) B