Too Cool For School

As any parent who has sat at traffic lights with The Wheels on the Bus blaring out the car window knows, after the stork arrives, it flies away with your last shred of cool. But help is at hand in the form of Colours Are Brighter, a compilation of 13 original songs 404 Not Found

nginx/1.14.0 (Ubuntu) by alternative rock acts put together by Belle and Sebastian’s Mick Cooke. Issued on Rough Trade, the label that evolved from the legendary punk-era London record shop, it’s specifically for kids (“and grownups too” acknowledges the small print). “Go Go Ninja Dinosaur!” roots Four Tet’s electro-tinged refrain on the opening track. From there, the likes of Snow Patrol, the Flaming Lips, Jonathan Richman, the Kooks, Ivor Cutler and the Divine Comedy tackle subjects from mud and astronauts to Pooh Bear and bunions. All proceeds from the just-released album go to Save the Children’s campaign that funds children’s education in global conflict zones. But what do the experts think?

maggie Age: 23 months “Shoes, shoes, shoes” Maggie chants while doing a rhythmic yet fit-like dance and points to her feet during Half Man Half Biscuit’s David Wainwright’s Feet. It’s more the gleeful trance of an ecstatic clubber than a toddler’s sway. So far so good then — although admittedly our reviewer had just that morning responded in the same way to the washing machine on spin cycle.

tom Age: 5 “I like the one about eating cakes best.” Franz Ferdinand’s Jackie Jackson, a cautionary tale about a gluttonous boy, is Tom’s favorite. He also liked the Barcelona Pavilion’s tidying-up song. “I put on Tidy Up Tidy Up when I clean my room, and Franz Ferdinand when eating cakes,” says Tom. “I like my CD, all my other music is babyish — but Daddy keeps stealing it.”

georgina Age: 6 “I like everything about this song. What’s a ninja?” Four Tet’s Go Go Ninja Dinosaur! is a hit with Georgina, but her favorite tune is Belle and Sebastian’s The Monkeys Are Breaking Out the Zoo. “The music is nice — it’s happy. The monkeys get away up to the hills, and they fly kites. I like the tiptoeing bit, and the chorus.” [Georgina then perfectly mimics the chorus.]

Hannah Age: 11 “I’m not sure it would really encourage me to tidy my room.” Hannah isn’t buying the parental propaganda of Tidy Up Tidy Up, although she finds the Kooks’ The King & I “O.K., a good tune.” Our most mature reviewer is a hard nut to crack: “Snow Patrol are better off sticking to what they are good at.” Maybe they should have aimed for a younger audience.