People: Oct. 23, 2006

Rehab, Hollywood-style

Alcohol loosens the tongue, as does DIANE SAWYER. She got MEL GIBSON to admit, in his first interview since his anti-Semitic tirade in July, that the comments he claimed were “the stupid ramblings of a drunkard” may stem from resentment over the criticism he got for The Passion of the Christ. Also, although in a drunken rage, he managed to think clearly about Nick Nolte. Gibson told Sawyer he combed his hair so “one of those hideous mug shots” wouldn’t be everywhere. “Vanity won out,” he said.

LITERARY BACKSTORY

Ah, the sharp sting of success. Last week Turkey was in the embarrassing position of having native son ORHAN PAMUK win the Nobel Prize for literature within a year of charging him with insulting Turkish identity. Critics also made much of Indian-born novelist KIRAN DESAI winning Britain’s Man Booker Prize after her mum was short-listed three times for the $93,000 award. But the fuss is over. Everyone can go back to ignoring serious authors again.

ADOPTION, HOLLYWOOD-STYLE

When TIME asked MADONNA this summer about rumors that the mother of two might adopt a child, her response was a coy “Never say never.” That’s pop-star speak for “Very soon.” A judge in Malawi last week approved her bid to take home a motherless 1-year-old, a move applauded by the boy’s father. But local rights groups still objected. Apparently Madge’s efforts to raise millions of dollars to help the sub-Saharan country’s 900,000 or so orphans doesn’t change the fact that she’s no Angelina Jolie.

SCREEN TEST

Assess your celebrity intelligence quotient with this week’s assortment of Tinseltown testosterone and other offscreen exploits:

1) Nashville crooner Sara Evans dropped out of Dancing with the Stars because:

A) She thought it would be good material for a wistful country song

B) She filed for divorce and wanted to be with her kids

C) She developed a sudden allergy to sequins

D) She didn’t want to play the bull OR the matador’s cape when dancing the paso doble

2) Grey’s Anatomy stud Patrick Dempsey narrowly averted an on-set fistfight with co-star Isaiah Washington because:

A) Playing a doctor on TV has given him a healthy fear of litigation

B) He didn’t want his McDreamy character renamed McBleedy

C) Washington realized “our faces are too beautiful” to punch

D) Dr. Gregory House dropped by and made them feel small

3) Hottie Scarlett Johansson aroused curiosity with the revelation that she:

A) Shaves boyfriend Josh Hartnett’s back twice a week

B) Gets tested for HIV twice a year

C) Has to double up on sports bras before she can go jogging

D) Is adopting two children in Africa

ANSWERS: 1) B; 2) C; 3) B